“It’s more than that. A little while after the divorce, Blake’s mother was moving into a new place and she got into a car accident.” He looks down. “She survived, but… she lost her legs. She can barely do anything on her own anymore. Blake probably thinks that if it wasn’t for me getting Riley pregnant, his parents would’ve stayed together and his mother would’ve never been on the road that night.”
I can’t bring myself to speak. That’s a lot to take in. How could he bear to come back to a town that carries so much tragedy?
“Do you think Blake was lying? When he said that she had the kid?”
He doesn’t reply for a little while. “I sure hope so.”
I can’t lie to myself anymore. This doesn’t make sense. She wouldn’t disappear unless she had something to hide. I get that her dad kicked her out and it was probably really hard on her, but running away and dodging everyone she’s ever met? That’s a bit much. Especially since her mother left her father for kicking her out. Not to mention, Vic’s family was also willing to help. She had all these people ready to take her in after she got the abortion. But that’s just the thing, isn’t it?
What if she didn’t?
What if Blake’s right and Haze has a kid?
I have no idea what it would mean for us.
Haze shakes his head, and his jaw hardens. I know that he’s beating himself up over what happened.
“Haze, don’t,” I say softly. “Don’t beat yourself up over this. You were fifteen. It’s not your fault. You had to deal with an adult situation long before your time. There is not a fifteen-year-old boy in the world who would’ve done better.”
“I was one week away from turning sixteen,” he corrects me, and I know he’s using that tiny detail to keep the guilt trip going.
“Big deal. You were still too young to know how to handle something like this.”
He lifts his head up and looks into my eyes. The way he stares at me tells a story. I know he’s never been this vulnerable in front of someone before. No one gets to see past his walls.
No one but me.
And the thought makes me feel lucky. It looks like he’s telling me “I trust you. Don’t destroy me.”
Haze Adams is so beautifully damaged that you can see the cracks in his heart through his eyes.
All I want to do is hold him until his splintered pieces fall back together, but I know that’s not possible, so instead I scoot closer to him, and he raises an eyebrow at my gesture. He pulls me onto his lap, hooking his arms around my waist to keep me in place, and I chuckle.
There are so many other questions I want to ask him. I want to ask about the missing picture in the frame on the fireplace, the empty kid’s room I found, and the person who was removed from the family portrait. I want to know why his family tore his childhood home to the ground, why they would do that only to rebuild something new on top of it afterward.
“Anything else?” he asks.
“Why bring me here? Doesn’t Tanner know about this place?”
He scoffs. “Trust me, he’d never think to look here. He thinks I’d rather die than come back to this town.”
“Is he wrong?”
He scoffs. “If you’d asked me that a month ago, I would’ve agreed with him.”
“You don’t anymore?”
He shakes his head.
“What changed? Why did you take me to a place that brings back such painful memories?”
“I’ve been asking myself that for a while, actually.”
“And?” I arch an eyebrow.
“I don’t know. I guess… I thought I’d be strong enough to face it all over again if I had you.”
I can’t stop the biggest smile from spreading across my face.