My footsteps are fast-moving, both hesitant and determined. Both too slow and too fast. I have no idea why I’m here right now. I know this isn’t going to fix anything, but I still find myself going up the stairs leading to Bianca’s porch. This time feels different. I feel different. I repeatedly pound on the door until she opens up.
“Haze? You’re here,” Bianca states, but it sounds like she’s having a hard time believing it. She steps aside and I walk in, silently staring at this girl who isn’t that good-looking now that I really think about it. Sure, she has a nice body, but she doesn’t have the nice mind to match. What’s a nice house if the rooms are empty? What’s a nice book cover if the pages are blank?
“I’ve missed you so much, babe.” Her fingers cling to my shirt, spreading all over my chest as she presses her breasts to me. “I knew the rumors weren’t true.”
“What rumors?” I finally speak.
“Oh, it’s nothing. Just a bunch of nonsense. People are saying you’re with that Winter bitch.”
Gee, I forgot how much she talks. It never bothered me before since I don’t listen and easily shut her up, but right now, for the first time, I want her to keep talking.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I frown.
“They’re saying that you have a thing for her or some shit.” She doesn’t wait for me to deny nor confirm her claims and straight-up gets down on her knees in front of me.
I’m too stunned to react.
People are saying that I have a thing for Winter?
How come the whole fucking planet seems to see it except for me? Bianca unhooks my belt the same way she did many meaningless times before, except that now, I’m repulsed. I could gag. What the fuck is wrong with me? Confused, I circle her wrists and get her back on her feet.
“What’s wrong?” she asks.
“Nothing.”
Nothing’s wrong. I’m still me. Nothing’s changed, right?
She nods and grips my collar to press her mouth to mine. It just takes a second. My mind is the victim of a hundred flashes. I see us at the motel. I can still hear her moaning while I kiss her neck.
Winter… Kingston…
I’m lying. Everything’s changed. Everything.
I pull away, looking at Bianca’s face, her eyes, her lips.
I look for traits that remind me of her. This girl who could be anywhere in the world right now.
“I have to go.” I walk away.
“Haze, wait! Why are you leaving?” she calls, but I don’t stop, swinging the front door open.
Her words echo in my head. “Why are you leaving?”
Deep down, I’m afraid…
I’m afraid because I know exactly what my answer is…
“Because you’re not her.”
“She’s lying. I didn’t sleep with her.” I take her hand, my eyes grazing over her perfect face, and pray that she’ll believe me. “I promise you. She’d say anything to break us up.”
She blows out a breath and looks up at me.
“I believe you.”
My shoulders loosen up.
“I just wish she’d stop trying to ruin our relationship. She’s gone too far, Haze. She’s borderline obsessed.”