My anger was obviously never mine to begin with because it vacates my body as soon as he apologizes. I can’t be mad at him. He was trying to look out for me. In his own messed-up, clumsy, and Haze way.
I nod. “It’s fine.”
He sits down next to me, apparently relieved that I’m not angry, and reaches for my hand. I’m reminded that we were making out—hard—before his nightmare of a father walked in.
“Haze, I don’t… I don’t want you getting the wrong idea.” I move my hand away. “I know you want us to get back together, and I do, too, but… I told you, I need time and most importantly, answers.”
“I know that. And I can give you time. But…”
“Let me guess, you can’t give me answers.”
He clenches his jaw and fidgets with his bloodstained shirt.
“I get it, Haze. You have a dysfunctional family. So what? Do you really think that would’ve been enough to scare me away? I fell for you even through the horrible things people told me about you. At this point, it’s pretty clear that I’m stuck on stupid for you.”
“You say that now, but you don’t know what you’re talking about.” He looks away. There he goes again, slamming the door in my face right when I think I finally have one foot inside.
“Okay. That’s it. Look at me.” I grab his face. “You’re going to listen to me very carefully because I’m not going to say it again. There is nothing, nothing that you could ever tell me that would make me love you less. Do you understand me?”
In that moment, when I look into his eyes, I swear I can see one of the walls he put up around his heart come down. I can see his shield partially disintegrating and hitting the ground.
“Nothing, huh?” He looks at me like he’s thinking, “Oh, Winter, you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.”
He looks at me like he was meant to ruin my life.
“Nothing.” I intertwine our fingers. “So please… please just come clean so we can put this nonsense behind us.”
He knows what I truly mean is so we can get back together. He’s about to say something when Richard walks back into the bedroom, creating a wonderful tension that reeks of unfinished business.
“Be at this clinic at four.” He hands Haze what appears to be a business card. “You’ll need to be with her as proof that you’re my son. We’re booked months in advance. She’s lucky we’re accepting her.”
“Got it,” Haze says coldly.
This is his way of letting his father know that they’re not anywhere near okay or on good terms.
“Oh, and please don’t fool yourself into thinking you can bail on the reception once you go to the appointment. We can easily have another and very different conversation with your school, son. Remember that,” he says before he walks away and leaves the apartment.
Great, now he’s blackmailing Haze, too. Threatening your own kid to keep him from graduating just so you can get what you want? That sounds like a well-adjusted human being.
Will comes to tell me that he’s heading home shortly after Richard walks out.
“I guess I’ll see you at school, then,” I say awkwardly while Will helps me up.
“Yeah, see you.” Haze sways from one foot to the other, hiding his hands in his pockets.
I know we’re both fighting the need to kiss goodbye, or to at least hug, like we used to. Not touching him feels so strange. Will and I walk out of the large building, heading for his car parked in the visitor spot.
“You know… for what it’s worth, I think you’re being hard on him,” Will says when we pull up into Maria’s driveway thirty minutes later. He kills the engine and turns to me.
“You’re defending him now?”
“I know, I know. I’m as shocked as you are, believe me. The guy was never anything more than an asshole to me, but I guess… when I started seeing him all the freaking time because someone had to fall for the enemy, I realized he’s not so bad.” He hits my shoulder playfully. “I had my doubts at first, but I think he really does love you.”
“Who are you, and what did you do to Will?” I laugh.
“Go ahead, mock me. But seeing him so openly say what he wants, it’s just made me think.”
“And what are you thinking, may I ask?”