I can’t tell what he’s thinking. I keep my head down and walk toward the bed to gather the few belongings I had on me last night.
What the hell is wrong with me? I can’t believe I let it happen a second time. But most importantly, I can’t believe I want to do it again.
“Yeah, we should go.” I remember the text messages my cousin sent me last night. He’s coming home at one, and he’s literally going to kill me, then bring me back to life, then kill me again if I’m not there.
“Kendrick’s coming home in two hours. He’s been training all morning.”
Haze nods, reaching for his keys in his jacket pocket. “We’ve got a fifty-minute car ride ahead of us. Come on.”
IS THERE ANYTHING MORE AWKWARD THAN spending fifty minutes in a car with a guy you were intensely making out with barely an hour ago and having to pretend it never happened? Probably. But right now, it doesn’t feel like it.
Haze and I haven’t said a single word to each other since we left the motel. He’s cold. Distant. Exactly the opposite of how I’d expect a guy to be after a kiss like that.
“Shouldn’t you be training, too?” I break the silence, unsure if I want to know the answer. The fight is tomorrow. I have no idea why he’s here with me.
“I didn’t exactly have time.”
“Yeah but you could’ve left early to train. Why didn’t you?”
I’m dying to know what’s going on in his head. Why did he kiss me? What does any of this mean?
“I had other things on my mind.” I know what he’s talking about right away and wiggle uncomfortably in my seat.
“Not at all worried about the fight, are we?”
“Nope.”
The coldness in his voice makes my blood boil. What’s his problem? I look ahead of me and see my house from afar. Maria’s at work. Only Kassidy’s car’s in the driveway. No sign of Kendrick anywhere. Thank God.
Haze kills the engine. He doesn’t move. I don’t either.
“You wouldn’t actually…” I pause. “Kill him, would you?
He doesn’t bother looking at me. “Not unless I have to.”
Of course he couldn’t be a decent guy and say, “No, of course not. I care about you and so I won’t kill your cousin if it ever comes to that. Peace out.”
“What do you mean? We’re talking about my cousin’s life, and you’re telling me that you might kill—”
He cuts me off. “What the hell do you want me to say, Winter, huh? That I’ll cancel the fight? That I’ll go gentle on him for you? Why? Because we made out a couple times? I don’t owe you anything. He’s nothing to me. He’s an enemy. That’s all. I don’t know who you think I am. But I’m not that guy who goes soft for some chick he just met. I’ll never be that guy.”
His words feel like razor blades tearing through my flesh. His sudden change of tone and the anger radiating out of him renders me speechless. I clench my fists, a burning pain spreading in my chest.
“Is that why you went out of your way to get my trust? Why you kept showing up at my house and texting me for the past month? Because you’re not that guy?” I shout. “Or maybe that’s why you kissed me? Because you don’t care?”
“I don’t. I don’t care, Winter. I don’t care about you or Kendrick, or anyone else,” he barks. “It was supposed to be fun. Nothing else. You weren’t supposed to…” He doesn’t finish his sentence, rage flowing out of him profusely. “I don’t need you to guilt-trip me, okay? You knew what you were getting yourself into.”
I’m confident that my eyes are bloodshot by the time he finishes his sentence. My emotions are at war. Anger, hatred, sadness… I can’t seem to decide which one’s going to win.
When I look at him and he denies me eye contact, Bianca’s bitter words creep into my head: “You think you’re so special, don’t you? That you’ll somehow be that one girl who makes him fall in love? News flash: you’re not. And in the end, he’ll get sick of you. Because guess what? You’re not different. Or special. No one is.”
She was right. Kendrick was, too. All along.
“So, it’s true, huh?” My words catch him off guard.
“What?”
“I’m a game.”