“You owe me this pizza…” I said while chewing. Then I grabbed the open beer sitting on the coffee table in front of me. “And this beer…for now.”
The beer coated my throat and went well with the pizza, so well that I ate the entire piece and drank almost all of his beer before he came and stood over me. Still eyeing me with a look of rapt interest in his squinted eyes, he picked up my bare legs and sat underneath me, placing them on his lap. He turned his attention to the TV right before running his hand through his hair, making him look even more devourable.
I sighed, flexing my feet on his clothed legs, feeling more relaxed than I have in a really, really long time.
Seven
“He did what?” JoJo cried out while pulling different types of dresses out of a huge cardboard box. I’d kept my promise and brought her a vanilla latte from the corner café and walked it down to her shop right after she opened. She was prepared for me to tell her about the amazing time I’d had on my date with Jason (who I found out was her accountant), but she was totally blindsided and engrossed in the surprise ending to my night.
“Oh, yeah. Then I stole his pizza and beer, and fell asleep on his couch…”
JoJo’s head popped over her counter, dropping all the clothes in her hand. They landed with a whoosh right back in the box.
I allowed the shock to wear off before I continued on with the story, leaving nothing out. I even told her about the little tease I’d done with taking my shoes off and walking over to him to snatch the piece of pizza right out of his hand.
And then, I explained what I’d done when I woke up at three that morning. I never get a full night’s sleep because of working night shift. I only sleep in small intervals of hours, but it worked out perfectly for me this time because it gave me the chance to get him back after I found out what he’d done to me.
“When I woke up at three, I was on his couch, with the TV on mute, the lights turned down low, and a grey blanket draped across my body. He was nowhere to be found.”
JoJo’s face softened, “Aw, that is so sweet, Cammie. See, he has a soft side.”
I held my hand up and pulled the piece of bacon out of my mouth and pointed it at her.
“Don’t ‘aw’ just yet. He’s a freaking pig!” I looked at her, then down at the piece of bacon in my hand. “No pun intended,” which left us in a fit of laugher.
Once the laughing wore off, I went back to my story.
“Anyway, when I sat up and climbed off the couch to find the bathroom, I had the exact same thought. How can he be such a date-destructing, jerk of a man-whore, but also cover me up after I ate all his pizza and drank his beer?” I shrugged. “But after I peed and looked in the mirror, all kind thoughts diminished, because there was a GIANT PENIS on my forehead!”
JoJo laughed so hard she had to cross her legs to keep from peeing.
“Why do you think my forehead is bright red? It’s taken me, like, five squirts of soap and several washcloths to get it off.”
“That is hilarious!”
“It isn’t hilarious when it’s you. But, no worries!” I grinned. “I did something to get him back.”
I arched my eyebrow and let my inner-psycho laugh fill the room.
“What did you do?”
“Well, it was three in the morning, so my thoughts were a little hazy and the prank wasn’t as good as I’d like...but I stole all of his shower stuff and towels and deposited them on the front seat of his beautiful Camaro. That way, when he goes to shower after his run this morning, he won’t have anything to shower with. He’ll have to go to work, disgusting and smelly.”
JoJo paused. “You’re right. You can do way better than that. But it’s still good, because I’m guessing he’ll be pissed.”
“Yeah. I’m hoping so. I did leave his razor, because I know he’ll get in trouble if he doesn’t shave.” I shrugged, taking a sip of my iced latte.
There was a beat of silence before I made eye contact with JoJo again, who was biting her bottom lip.
“What?”
“It’s just… you’ve got it bad. The both of you do.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, feigning innocence.
“You know what I mean. You two are obviously attracted to one another, and who could blame you? You banter back and forth, which is just a different form of flirting.” She held her hand up so I couldn’t argue. “And, even though you two pick on one another, you still do things that show that you care.” She turned around and started picking up the clothes she’d dropped and folded them again, neatly. “He covers you up on the couch, and you leave his razor behind. You care, yet you’re trying really hard not to. The both of you are.”
“I might be attracted to him, but that’s it. He annoys the living shit out of me. He just…irritates me.”