Her expression softened, her thick mass of fake eyelashes fluttering against her cheeks. “It’s not that simple. And don’t forget, Madeline, he’s your father and he loves you.”
Love. What a corrupted word.
“You’re not supposed to be afraid of the people who love you, Mom.”
And that was how I knew every single relationship I’d ever had, friendship or not, wasn’t of real substance. Most of my “friends” feared me—they used to, anyway, until I lost my status at English Prep.
Her eyes dropped, her plump mouth curving into a frown. When she looked back up, I saw the fear lying there. The fear and the animosity.
I didn’t understand. I didn’t understand how she could be so afraid of my father but still love him the way that she did. She bent over backwards to please him when he was home, only for him to hurt her in the end.
“One day, you’ll understand, Madeline. I promise.”
I had a hard time believing that, but I nodded anyway.
“I’ll see you later, okay?”
“Okay. Be careful.”
My mom looked wary of my warning, and I wanted to smack myself for saying it. But she turned around and left anyway. I got up from my chair and glanced at Eric’s. His light was turned off, his car no longer in the driveway.
I flopped on my bed and told myself it was better this way. Eric and I were dangerous territory. I was going to end up getting hurt, and if that was the case, then I’d just wasted my entire high-school existence protecting myself for no fucking reason.
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Chapter Twenty-Four
Eric
I sat at the cabin, drumming my fingers against my leg to the music pounding through the speakers. It wasn’t my idea to have a party tonight, but I figured it was a good thing, considering last night I’d almost kissed Madeline into a frenzy until she spilled every dark truth that laid behind her pink lips.
Ollie and Christian were casually sitting on the couch beside me, watching their girlfriends beat a pair of beefy underclassmen at beer pong. I laughed when they’d send glares to the poor bastards playing against their girls, and I smiled when Piper and Hayley would jump up, yelling that they’d made a shot. But even through the motions, my head was someplace else.
Pulling out my phone, I typed a text to Madeline but then quickly erased it, shoving it back into my pocket. I ran a hand through my hair and leaned back onto the couch cushions again. I was going crazy wondering if her mom was bringing home another lay and if he was going to keep his hands to himself. I was infuriated that I kept circling back to that feeling of missing out on something—that something being Madeline.
When did the shift happen? When did I find myself wanting to see her instead of thriving in the midst of a notorious cabin party full of willing girls and alcohol? I’d somehow replaced those two vices with another, more potent one.
Fuck.
My mom was working tonight, so I wouldn’t be able to get updates on who was pulling into Madeline’s driveway. I’d given her just enough information on the nightmare that Madeline had last weekend for her not to question when I’d asked the favor. She smiled at me and said, “See. Protective. But yes, dear. I’ll make sure nothing suspicious goes on over there, although her mom has made quite a name for herself.”
Then, like clockwork, I felt like shit because I’d let it slip my mind for a split second that my dad fucked Madeline’s mom and my parents were likely about to get divorced over it. She still hadn’t brought that up, and I still hadn’t talked to my father. Because fuck him.
That was all the more reason to keep my distance from Madeline. She and her mom were both in the middle of my family drama.
I cut one glance to Christian and Ollie who were seconds from tearing off Piper and Hayley’s opponents’ heads before slowly standing up and lazily moving around tipsy, slutted-up girls who kept purring at me and the rest of my drunk peers. I got into my Range Rover and waited until I was halfway home before texting Ollie and Christian in a group text.
Me: I left. Make sure nothing gets broken. I’ll be back to clean tomorrow.
I tossed my phone in the cup holder, turning up the music to block out any incoming texts. I purposely waited to text them instead of telling them in person where I was headed, because I wasn’t ready for their incredulous looks.
Ollie and Christian both knew me like the backs of their hands, and they both knew when something was wrong. I’d suspected they knew I was headed to Madeline’s, and I didn’t particularly enjoy lying to them, so avoidance was key.
Pretty much what I should have been doing with Madeline.
I chuckled at the lack of grip I had on the situation with her. She’d somehow crept into my head with her sobering blue eyes and beckoned me to invade her life. To take her privacy and throw it out the goddamn window. I wanted to know everything. She gave me small glimpses, like a peek at the sun behind dark, troubling clouds.
It hadn’t always been easy to ignore her when she was fucking my best friend, but it was awfully easy to hate her when I blamed her for my mother’s pain. She took it, too. Madeline wanted me to hate her. She did things to make everyone hate her.