It took years of acting like Eric meant absolutely nothing to me to really believe it. It was easy when I thought he hated me. But standing in his driveway, dashing out of his grip and watching the basketball cascade through the air and into a hoop…it was hard to get my heart to play along. It was hard to remember why I had pushed him and everyone else away in the first place.
A gush of warm air fluttered around me as Eric was back, trying to slap the bouncing ball out of my hands. “We’re tied, Maddie. One more point and I win.”
His large hand quickly jolted forward, and I spun around with an excited squeal. “You’re right,” I said breathlessly, “but that also means one more point and I win, too.”
My back was to Eric as I continued dribbling the ball in front of me. It was funny how being alone with him, doing something so harmless, could make me forget about all the bad that had happened. My heart was beating with freedom, a flutter dancing throughout my lower belly, my lips tingling as my cheeks burned from a smile.
“Knock it off, Madeline,” he whispered into my ear, jolting his hand out again. I may have been smaller than him, but I was also a lot faster.
“Knock what off?” I asked with fake innocence, feeling brazen with him behind me.
I yelped when both of his hands fell on my hips, holding me in place. A breath was stuck in my throat, and a skitter of juicy anticipation flushed my skin. His warm breath tickled my ear. “I know you’re using this tight little ass as a weapon, just like you used that pouty mouth a few weeks ago at the frat party.”
A faint smile graced my lips. I hadn’t even realized what I was doing, but he was right. I was rubbing on him as he stood behind me, and I was pretty certain it was because I wasn’t stuck inside my head for once.
“I’m immune to your tactics. It’s not going to work.” His hands gripped me harder, but he didn’t move.
I was still feeling bold. Maybe a little high with ecstasy from being so close to him and feeling so free.
I smiled even wider and pushed myself back even harder. He groaned, his fingers digging into my skin. I tilted my head back, still holding the basketball. I met his steel-colored eyes. His pupils were dilated, and his jaw was taut. “Are you sure about that, Eric?”
One tilt of his head and he was gone within a second. I turned around quickly, only to freeze. Eric was standing there, looking at me like I was fucking prey. His mouth curved into a menacing smile, his inky hair framing his forehead, making him look like the villain. “Two can play that game, baby.”
Desire washed through my body. I shifted on my feet, squirming from the feeling. I felt alive with his eyes on me, and that was something I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel again.
Eric reached underneath the hem of his shirt and tore it over his head within the blink of an eye.
I had to keep my face steady so I didn’t show just how much his bare chest enticed me. He was toned with round pecs sitting nicely above his washboard abs that slanted into that delicious V that led to the waistband of his pants.
He was dangerously attractive. So hot he made my mouth tingle.
Pushing my blonde hair over my shoulder, I clicked my tongue and played it cool. “I’ve seen better.”
Eric’s mouth fell before he threw his head back and laughed loudly. My cheeks rose even when I told them not to. Once he stopped laughing so hard, he shook his head and smiled at me. “You can’t lie to me, Madeline. I see right through you.”
My cheeks were still lifted as I stood back, staring at him with his half-crescent smile and gleaming eyes, and just like that, I was taken back to the past. I wasn’t staring at the boy who I’d hurt deeply and who hated me, but instead, I was staring at the boy who made my entire body sing, even as young as we were.
And the longer I stood and stared at Eric, the more it hurt. My smile fell swiftly, and I was suddenly met with a heart-stopping loss that was like a punch to my chest. My arms dropped, and the basketball slowly rolled to where he was standing. My throat burned as I forced the words out. I was treading lightly. My voice shook. ?
?I…I am so sorry.”
I could barely see him as he walked toward me, too stuck in my spot with earlier memories assaulting me.
His feet stopped shuffling, and the surrounding air suddenly felt suffocating. The small brush of his hand tipped my head back, and I was at a complete loss for words. His eyes bounced between mine for far too long before he whispered, “I know.”
I swallowed back my emotions, my mouth suddenly very dry. “I hate myself for turning into this detached person. For pushing you away. For making you hate me.”
“You pushed everyone away…not just me.” His thumb caressed my cheek, and it took everything I had to keep my feet rooted to the ground instead of reaching up and kissing him. My lips felt like they were going to shrivel up and die if they didn’t touch his, and where that should have shut me down in every single way, it didn’t. Instead, it awakened me. It opened my eyes. What a stupid, stupid mistake I made.
“It was easier that way.”
“Why?” he asked softly, gazing down into my eyes just as deeply as I was gazing up at his.
The truth felt vile as it tumbled out, the vulnerability making me shudder. “Because if you don’t allow anyone to get close to you, then they can’t hurt you.”
His thumb grazed my bottom lip. “That’s not true. You and I have been strangers since the day you shut me out, but every day after, one look from you and the cut just went deeper. We were so far apart you could have stuck a continent in between us, and I’d still feel that pain and resentment. The hate.”
Suddenly, everything was closing in. My throat was tight. “I don’t want you to hate me anymore.” The words were no more than a whisper, and I was pretty sure I’d surprised us both by letting it out.