“Hi,” I whispered as I walked into the living room.
Eric and his mom both glanced up at me, and I froze. My stomach fell to the floor with a clunk. I was jittery and filled to the brim with nerves.
“Hi, sweetie.” Heather’s face split in two with the warmest smile I'd ever been graced with. “Are you feeling better?”
Heat coated my cheeks, and I fluttered my eyes away. “Yes. I’m fine. I’m sorr—"
“Nope!” Her voice was cheerful. “I won’t hear of it. No apology necessary. We all have bad dreams sometimes.”
Not like this.
“Eric used to have them too. I can’t tell you how many times I found him standing in my room, asking if he could sleep in there.”
Eric’s dark brows crowded. “Mom. Stop.”
My lips twitched when she smiled innocently and rolled her eyes. “Well, come on in here. Would you like some warm tea? Or we have brownies and Chinese.”
Why was she so nice? And welcoming?
It only made me feel worse.
I took a step further into the living room, my bare feet sinking into the comfy rug. “Oh, no,” I answered softly. “I don’t want to be a bother.” My arms went directly to my torso as I pulled into myself. Eric gave me a weird look, like he couldn’t believe that I was acting this way. I couldn’t believe it either. Snap out of it, Madeline! Every word I said so far nearly trembled coming out of my mouth. My guilty conscience was whispering uncertainties in my ear to the point that I almost just walked out the front door.
I have to apologize. My mom was selfish and was too busy chasing after her own happiness to care about anyone else’s—even mine. I didn’t fault her for it. I understood. But just because I understood something didn’t mean that I thought it was the right choice. She made bad choices all the time.
“You are not a bother! I’ll go get you some tea.”
I went to protest again, but Eric spoke up. “I’ll make it. You two can pick something to watch.” His voice was relaxed and smooth, but when he glanced my way, his eyes told a different story. There was a lot going on in his head. He was probably getting whiplash with my behavior just like I was with his.
I wasn’t acting like the Madeline of English Prep. Eric was seeing more and more of the girl who was ruined instead of the girl who did the ruining.
“Will you make me some too?” his mom asked, smiling over at him.
“Of course, Mom.” My heart stuttered to a complete stop when I watch
ed Eric’s rock-hard jaw soften into a relaxed smile. His lips showcased a glimpse of his white teeth, and his dark eyes somehow turned light.
“Thanks, sweetie.”
When he cut his gaze back to me, his smile disappeared just as fast. He turned around and walked into the kitchen, leaving me and my stuttering heart alone with his mom.
“Here.” Heather handed me a gray knit blanket as she pulled me over to sit on the love seat. Their living room was large but still cozy. A flatscreen TV hung above a fireplace mantle with a ridiculous number of pictures of Eric on top, showing just how much he had grown over the years.
“Thank you.”
Once I sat on the couch and curled my legs up underneath my butt, I draped the warm blanket over my body and bit my lip. Being alone with Heather had me panicking. It was almost as bad as being in my house at night, fighting off sleep because another man was in bed with my mom. My entire body was tensed up to the point that my muscles ached.
“What would you like to watch, Madeline? What do you like?”
I slowly turned my head and looked at Heather. Her chestnut hair was tied in a low pony, and her warm eyes were pouring into mine so intently that I couldn’t stop the words from cutting through the air. “I’m so sorry.”
Her perfectly sculpted brows knitted together as she witnessed me breaking. I bit my lip even harder to keep it from shaking. I knew Eric’s dad and my mom were the ones at fault. The first time he’d come over to our house was when he’d made his mistake. But I could have told Eric. I had the power to stop it before it went on for too long, but I didn’t.
“No,” Heather said softly. Her features fell, her lips forming a frown. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
Yes, I do.
I gulped back the tight lump squeezing my neck. I knew why I hadn’t told anyone, and I knew why I had stopped talking to Eric—why I’d cut him out of my life. But again, just because I understood why I did it, that didn’t necessarily mean it was the right choice.