A loud bang hit the bathroom door, and instantly, I knew the moment was gone.
Eric’s mouth left mine, and his hands were ripped out of my hair. He put much needed distance between us. “Goddamnit, Madeline,” he growled. “I should have seen that coming! You play fucking dirty.” He looked appalled. “That was the last thing I intended to do tonight. Especially now.”
I hopped off the vanity on trembling legs, annoyed that I was enjoying myself. The kiss was supposed to put a wedge between us. He was supposed to push me away and remember that he hated me. I needed him to stop prying. But he wasn’t.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked with a bite in my tone, but the truth was, I felt more embarrassed than ever. I knew what he was thinking. He thought I was damaged now. He thought I was weak.
Eric wiped the back of his hand over his mouth like he was ridding himself of my kiss. “Did you think that kissing me was going to make me forget?”
My stomach flipped with unease. “Forget that I betrayed you? Forget that I ruined our friendship all those years ago? Forget that you hate me?” I began shaking my head. “No…” That was the point.
“No,” he answered angrily. “I’m referring to the fact that you got fucking raped by someone. That’s why you don’t sleep, right? Because you keep having nightmares about it?”
My lungs began to burn. My heart thumped loudly behind my ear drums. I am weak. I stole one tiny glance at Eric and felt myself crumble. I need to get out of here.
I didn’t usually run from confrontation, but if I didn’t run right now, I’d likely pass out, and I wasn’t doing that. A weird rush of feelings I’d never felt before were pelting my skin, and I needed it to stop.
Before Eric could say anything else, I flew past him and threw the door open. I ran down the hall, bypassing Ollie and Christian, along with the Wellington Prep gang, and I didn’t stop hyperventilating until I made it to my car and down the street.
I parked off to the side, just underneath a flickering streetlight as my eyes began to blur. A loud sob erupted from deep inside my chest.
I hated myself.
And I hated Eric for bringing up the one thing I wanted to forget.
I was angry, sad, ashamed, and all sorts of other things.
Exhausted being one of them.
I got even angrier, realizing I didn’t even meet up with Atticus. My hand stung from smacking my steering wheel.
Shit!
Chapter Fourteen
Eric
“You mean to tell me…” Ollie pushed his head in between the driver and passenger seats where Christian and I sat, parked in my driveway. “That your dad fucked Madeline’s mom?”
“For years,” I answered bleakly, staring at her stupid window that was—you guessed it—glowing.
I finally had to come clean and fill them in on what had been eating away at me for the last few months. Although Ollie and Christian were the two people I trusted most on this godforsaken earth, I couldn’t bring myself to tell them about Madeline. They knew I hated her; they knew that she knew all about my father fucking her mom, but that was it.
I wasn’t about to tell them what I’d found out. I wasn’t about to tell them that I had this indescribable pull inside my body that had me considering barging into her bedroom right now to finish our earlier conversation.
She fucking kissed me. She kissed me!
For the past few years, on my worst days, I’d let myself imagine what kissing those hot lips would feel like. How it would feel to wrap my hands in her golden hair and make her crumble in my arms. I’d wondered what she’d taste like and what she’d feel like against my palms. And it was nothing like I’d ever imagined.
I hated it but loved it at the same time. Story of my fucking life when it came to her.
And now that she was away from me and I was able to calm down and get my thoughts straight, I was so pissed. I wasn’t mad that she kissed me, but I shouldn’t have kissed her back. Not because I was back to my right mind and hating her again; it just felt so fucking wrong. She was raped. My head was spinning as Christian’s voice rang out again.
“Her mom always did seem slutty. Much like Madeline.” My chest tightened; my neck stiffened. I pressed my back into the seat to keep myself steady.
I knew Christian despised Madeline. To be honest, he despised anyone who wasn’t Hayley, but he was still a good guy. If he knew what I knew, he wouldn’t have said that.
“Yeah,” I finally answered. “Things are just fucked up right now. I’m certain my parents are getting divorced, and good fucking riddance, but my mom is throwing herself into shifts at the hospital, and it’s probably because she can’t stand to look over at Madeline’s house without being reminded of it.”