Ollie rubbed his lips together, chuckling under his
breath.
I ran my tongue over my teeth angrily. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding. You were a fucking ass for the last few years of high school. Just because you’ve got Hayley now, and you’re all fucking happy, doesn’t mean the rest of us are.”
Christian’s hands flexed. “Then why don’t you do something about it? Go fuck someone. Go fuck lots of someones. Get whatever the fuck is up your ass out, because we have a few months left of school, and then we’re off on our own. Do you really want to spend it being like this?”
As if it were that easy to just snap out of it.
My long strides brought me over to him quickly. We were like two angry bulls, ready to fight, both of our brows bundled together with anger. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. Did you hear me or Ollie asking you to quit being a depressed dick when you were hating the world?” I got closer, my voice rumbling out of my mouth. “No. We fucking backed you up—always. Now, I’m asking you to back me up. Let me be mad. Let me hate everyone. Let me work through my shit. Jesus. You’re as bad as my fucking father.” I wanted to hit him. I wanted to punch his stupid straight nose and make it crooked.
Fighting wasn’t foreign to me. Or to Christian. But it’d been years since he and I had fought. We had once gotten into a fight, freshman year, which was what had decided our fate at English Prep. He thought I was fighting him to prove a point in front of everyone, but I wasn’t. I was fighting him because he took Madeline from me, and I was so fed up with pretending like it didn’t darken my soul a little each time they kissed.
I remembered pounding his face until I caught a glance at Madeline’s heart-shaped mouth pursed into a frown through the formed crowd. I let Christian win that day. I let him win because I knew I’d always be on the losing side if I kept chasing her. That I’d continue resenting him for being with her even when he had no idea.
A couple of college girls roamed past us as I came back to reality. Christian was about to spit something else in my face, but his phone rang. He sighed angrily and took a step back. Once he pulled his phone out, he turned around and answered.
“Hey, baby.”
His tone was no longer pissy and domineering. He was obviously talking to Hayley.
“Yeah, we just got here. Don’t worry. I’m the DD. Ollie and I just came to hang with Eric.” He looked over his shoulder at me and glared, as if he were telling me we weren’t done with the conversation.
Fuck him.
Ollie sauntered up beside me and nudged my tense shoulder. “It’s honestly astounding how quickly he can go from fucking pissed to a whipped boyfriend in three seconds flat. Isn’t it?”
I didn’t answer, but apparently, Ollie didn’t catch on to my don’t-fucking-start-with-me mood. There was some serious pent-up aggression trying to claw its way out of my chest.
Between my family shit and the unyielding thoughts of Madeline and her stupid fucking light glaring into my window each night, I was drowning in shit I wanted no part of.
It wasn’t even that I was denying the fucked-up shit going on in my life currently. I just wanted to stop caring for the night.
Ollie was still talking. “It’s almost sickening. Listen to him talking all sweetly to Hayley, and I bet when he gets off the phone, he’ll turn back into his true alpha form and start on you again.”
I grunted in response. Christian was an alpha, but I was too. People didn’t fuck with me. People didn’t talk back to me. I wasn’t an easy-going guy, by any means.
The only reason Christian dominated the halls of English Prep was because I had let him back when we were freshman. There was no fucking way I was fighting for that role, because if I did, that’d mean I’d have to put up an even bigger fight of denying my feelings for Madeline. Because up until recently, she was the queen of English Prep. I wanted absolutely no part in her world.
Yet, somehow, I kept finding myself circling the pits of hell with Madeline right in the center.
“Eric, you do you. We’re here for you, even if you do have a pole up your ass.”
I finally let my gaze wander to Ollie. He was smiling in his typical happy-go-lucky way, but I saw the pointed look in his eye. It twitched at the last second. He knew something was going on with me, and I wasn’t sure what Piper had told him. She was the most invasive of all of us, yet in her own secret way.
“Thanks,” I managed to force out, side-stepping him and leaving Christian, who continued talking to his girlfriend on the phone.
I scanned the cars lining the street and didn’t see Madeline’s car anywhere. It seemed she went somewhere else tonight, which was good. I was going to grasp tightly to that little break in my spiraling thoughts for the next few hours.
Madeline wasn’t winning this one. I wasn’t going to feel bad for her or wonder why she slept with her light on every night.
Maybe Christian was right. Maybe I did need to fuck someone else.
Chapter Thirteen
Madeline
I pulled up to the frat party right before the clock hit eight and felt relief settle into my bones. Eric’s car was parked in his driveway when I’d gotten home from my hair appointment—the one my mom had set up for me to keep my hair the platinum blonde that it was to please my father who only popped up into our lives occasionally—so I knew Eric wasn’t going to be here tonight.