But as we walked hand and hand down the hall, the voice in the back of my head reminded me that Saturday was only a few days away.
I was going to break her heart. Just not in the way she thought.
The door to my bedroom slammed open, and I snapped my neck over to my brother. The room was lit by the lamp on my desk as I worked on a paper that was due three days ago. Thankfully, my charm had worked on Ms. Carpenter, because she let out an exasperated sigh behind a smile when I told her I’d have it turned in by tomorrow.
“We need to talk.” Christian strode into my room with his arms crossed over his chest. It’d been a while since he’d pulled the I’m-your-big-bro-and-our-dad-is-absent role. But here we were.
“What?” I mumbled, rereading the bullshit line I’d just written regarding the Republican Party.
“What is going on with you? Why are you avoiding Dad so much?”
I stilled, staring at the word Republican for so long it started to look wrong.
“Is it because of the races on Saturday? And yeah, let’s discuss that as well. Piper told Hayley that you said you’ve got it all under control. What exactly is your plan?”
For fuck’s sake. This was exactly why I didn’t want Christian involved. He needed to be in control at all times, and it was frustrating. For once, he just needed to leave me be.
Just as the thought came through, I regretted it. Christian was a good brother; he always had been, and he deserved better than having me as his brother. I couldn’t even be honest with him.
I placed my pen down and leaned back in my chair and acted relaxed. “Can you chill? I have everything under control. Tank is a little bitch, and he’s going to wish he never started these races in the first place.”
Christian propped himself along the wall and crossed his arms over h
is chest. “How long have you been racing?”
I fought to keep my eyes on him and my face unmoving. I shrugged. “A little while. I was bored.”
Christian pushed off the wall quickly, shaking his head. “That’s stupid fucking behavior. Imagine if you were to get caught! You could kiss that football scholarship—that we both know you’re getting—away.”
I said nothing, and he continued.
“And now, you’re stuck in a shitty situation without an out. How is this going to go on Saturday? What? You’re going to race one more time, Tank will get back the rest of the money if you win the race, and then…”
“Like I said, I have it under control.” My voice was beginning to rise. “For once, let me fix my own shit.”
His face flinched. “What does that mean?”
My desk chair flew backwards as I stood. “It means you can’t always swoop in and save me from reckless behavior. I know I’ve gotten myself in a stupid position. I fucking know Tank isn’t someone to mess around with. I’m not as immature and naive as you think, Christian.”
My voice was rising to higher octaves, and I could tell Christian was surprised. Shit, even I was surprised. I didn’t lose my temper, but lately, things were piling up, and I was at the bottom of the pile. Part of me wanted to tell him about our dad, but the other part knew I needed to hold onto the secret for just a little while longer. One thing at a time.
“Fine.” Christian dropped his gaze for a moment before leveling me with a glare. “But Dad is on his way home, just for the night, and he said to make sure you’re here. He wants to talk to you, and he said you keep avoiding him.”
Fuck.
My nostrils flared. “So, what? Are you gonna hold me down until he gets here?” I chuckled, dropping back into my chair.
“No,” he answered sharply. “It’s been you and me against the world since Mom died. I’m not changing that now, even though he’s trying to make amends. I’m not going to stop being there to protect you, even though you’re pushing me away. I know the feeling all too well.”
Christian: the king of shutting people out. I guess we did have something in common, even if not the same father.
“So, go now if you want to avoid him.”
If I left, I was weak. But if I stayed, I was stupid. I wasn’t prepared to deal with this right now. Not when I had Saturday to worry about. So, instead of being strong and facing this head-on, I walked over to my bed and snatched my keys, wallet, and phone.
Christian’s hand clamped down on my arm as I began to walk past him. “You know I’m always on your side, right?” His tone was almost pained.
I nodded once as I brushed past him.