I didn’t like that he was near them either. “Why were you even racing that night?” I crossed my arms over his shirt as I walked closer to him. He peeked up at me through his thick eyelashes, the blue in his eyes sucking me in like a storm over the ocean. He shrugged but kept his mouth in a straight line, not answering me.
Our eyes were locked and loaded. I gave him a look that said I wasn’t backing down, and he gave me one right back.
“Why were you racing?”
He clicked his tongue and gave me a half smile. “I was bored?”
I narrowed my gaze. “I told you about Jason...the least you can do is tell me the truth.”
Ollie looked away, his chest puffing out with a deep breath. I knew he was thinking of changing the subject or skirting around the real reason, but that wasn’t going to work. I wanted to know why he was racing.
An idea hit me after a few seconds of watching him nervously crack his knuckles. A sly smile had my lips moving. “A secret for a secret?”
Those blue eyes flew to mine, and he cocked an eyebrow. After sighing again, he adjusted the backwards hat on his head, giving me a glimpse of his light hair before relaxing back in his seat.
“Don’t you ever just need an escape?”
My mouth fell into a frown at the sound of his voice. For a moment, I forgot that I pretended to hate him. We were almost face to face, the kitchen island no longer in between us. The barrier had suddenly vanished. It was always like this with us. Things got stirred up between us within a moment's notice. The chemistry pulsed. Our emotions ran high. I blamed it on that night at Andrew’s. Like some twisted spell was cast over us in that room, forever tethering us together. He was raw that night, spilling his secrets to a complete stranger, and looking at him now, I got the sense that he felt the exact same way. As if nothing had changed in the last year we’d pretended to be at odds with one another. The secret he held close still ate away at him.
I could always tell when the thought would cross his mind, whether it was someone mentioning how he and Christian didn’t look alike, or when Eric would compare Ollie’s chipperness to Christian’s broodiness. Each and every time, I’d watch Ollie’s behavior. His smile wouldn’t reach his eyes, his laugh wouldn’t echo throughout the room, and above all else, he’d look lost.
“Is that why you’re here tonight?” My voice came out like a lullaby. Soft and welcoming. The air quickly changed between us, and for once, I wasn’t trying t
o hide behind my masked hatred or basking in an old grudge. There was a weird pull in my heart that ached with the need to rid him of his problems. Strangely enough, I wanted to pull him in instead of push him away.
He cleared his throat, and I quickly snapped back to reality, shaking off the warm and fuzzy feeling I was getting. “I’m here because I was worried about you and because we need to figure things out. I don’t like not being in control.”
I began to shake my head to protest, but he slapped his hand on the counter. “I’m fucking racing regardless, Piper. Go ahead and say you’ll tell Christian he’s not my real brother.”
All of a sudden, the tall chair scraped the floor as Ollie stood up. My arms quickly uncrossed and fell from my chest as he crept toward me. I began walking backwards to the cabinets, trying desperately to put some space between us. Ollie was tall, much taller than me, and with the look of desperate determination in his eye, it felt like he grew ten more inches. The heavy tension was back as he pinned me to my spot and almost spat the words, “Tell me you’ll blackmail me and tell my dirty little secret. I don’t care.”
I could never. I was bluffing the other night, fueled by the intense need to cover up my problems, and he knew it.
Ollie was within spitting distance, erasing almost all of the space between us. If I reached my hand out even a fraction, I’d be touching his rising chest. My head continued to tilt upward as he came closer to me, caging me in with his heavy presence. In this moment, I very quickly learned there was more than just one side to Ollie. There was the light and fluffy Ollie, the one who teased and joked and smiled so brightly he lit up an entire room. And then there was this one, the fiercely protective, determined beyond belief, and intimidating Ollie. It was a little bit like getting a glimpse of his older brother. They may not have shared a father, but they sure shared something. His determination was unwavering. He wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
I felt his seething hot breath on my face as he towered over me. My heart thumped hard, and my vision was a tunnel to his mouth as the words continued to tumble out. “You can pretend all you want that you’re dark inside, Piper, that you’d take something so fucking personal and skew it to benefit yourself, but you and I both know that’s a lie.” I held my breath as Ollie’s hand cupped my chin. “You’re too good. You’re sweet. Caring. You wouldn’t do that because you know it would hurt Christian and me both. You don’t destroy others, Piper. You help others.”
I said nothing as he continued to hold my chin. The blues in his eyes sucked me in, and I felt myself becoming submissive. My body wanted to sink into him. I wanted to dive in deep. Ollie was the water, and I was completely on fire.
Ollie’s eyes searched mine as he asked, “Have you ever noticed that the broken ones are always the ones who help others?”
It felt like a knife was being thrusted into my chest.
“No,” I answered breathlessly, barely keeping my legs from giving out.
His grip on my chin tightened. “That’s because you’re the broken one, Piper. You’re too busy helping everyone else to realize you’re the one that needs help.”
The knife twisted with his words.
“I’m not broken.” A lump began to form in my throat at the validity of his words. I’m not broken.
“You are, Piper. Don’t you realize it? You instantly stepped in and helped Hayley the first day she arrived at English Prep, and you continued to do so even though it put your own life at risk.” I tried to shake my head, but Ollie’s grip wouldn’t let me. He shook his head, that stupid backwards baseball hat staying perfectly perched on top. “You’re helping your brother even though I’m certain he doesn’t deserve it. And I wonder how many times you’ve helped him in the past.”
Too many.
“And yet, you can’t see that you’re the one that needs a little help. You can’t do this on your own.”
I clenched my teeth together. I know I need help. I just don’t want it. “Well…you’re helping me, so what does that make you?”