I shook my head. “That’s not why I’m butting in. I’m not trying to control you.” I was honestly surprised at how calm my voice was. My temper was clanking off every bone in my body as it tried to emerge.
“Then why are you butting in? We’re not friends. We’re not even acquaintances. Do I need to remind you that you’ve told me on several occasions that you hate me and want me gone?”
I wanted to punch my fist into the tree, but instead, I gritted through my teeth. “I don’t fucking know, Hayley!” I took several deep breaths, running my hand through my hair again. “God, fuck!”
Hayley came closer; this time she was pinning me against the tree instead of the other way around. “I don’t need a knight in shining armor, Christian. Especially one who acts as the villain, too.” She slowly backed away after invading my personal space. “Now leave me be. I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time. I’ve learned to depend on me, and me alone.”
My back stayed against the tree as Hayley walked back over to the side of her house and climbed up the lattice. She didn’t even look back as she reached her window. Her light never came on, and there wasn’t a single peep that came from her house. My lips still tingled long after she disappeared from my sight, but Hayley was right. She wanted me to leave her be, and I needed to listen.
Chapter Eighteen
Hayley
The next few days were uneventful, especially given the weekend. Something I said to Christian must have stuck. Maybe it was the way I stressed that he needed to leave me alone, or maybe it was the kiss.
The unspeakable kiss. The moment that I kept pretending never happened. And apparently, him too, considering he hadn’t glanced my way once since Friday night. I couldn’t believe I kissed him. The second I climbed in my window and shut it behind me, I rested my back along the wall and slid to the floor, my chest heaving up and down as I replayed every waking moment since he had climbed into my room. I replayed the part where I undressed in front of him and how I liked watching my effect on him. How he had me pinned against the tree with my heart in my throat. How alive I felt when our lips collided.
There were so many up-close-and-personal moments, each one branding itself into my heart like a memory I’d never forget.
I wished I could forget. It would have been a lot easier keeping my gaze transfixed on the blackboard instead of scolding myself every five seconds.
From what I noticed, it seemed Madeline was outcasted by the popular group this week. Piper said she heard bits and pieces about Christian calling her out at a party over the weekend, and there was word that he told her to stay away from me, too—which was conflicting.
I was half-angry that Christian acted like I needed his help and protection, but the other half of me relished in it.
I was a mess.
And that didn’t even touch my home situation. The house felt like one big shard of glass, and if I stepped the wrong way, I’d be cut. It was suffocating. Pete was a ticking time bomb, and I was pretty sure I was the fuse.
Pulling out my notebook and smoothing out my skirt, I got myself ready for Mr. Calhoun’s lecture about Shakespeare. I’d been keeping up with the course load just fine at English Prep, and I only had a few more colleges to apply to, plus many more scholarships. A few of the teachers had already pulled me aside to tell me that they were impressed, even after only a few weeks, and they’d have my recommendation letters drafted up quickly. At least one thing in my life was going well.
My skin prickled as the dynamic in the room changed. People hushed; glances were stolen. It meant that Christian and Ollie had walked in. It was like that every morning.
The sounds of conversations about the football game erupted in the room when Eric mentioned that college scouts were coming to watch. A few girls were talking about what they were going to wear, complaining that they just weren’t sure. Oh, how nice it would be for my biggest worry to be what I was going to wear to a football game.
I was supposed to go to the game with Piper. I had promised her last week, but it was basically the last thing on earth that I wanted to do, although it did beat being locked in my bedroom.
A word caught my ear as Mr. Calhoun started to write something on the blackboard. It was Ollie’s voice. “Yeah, fuck Oakland. They play like a bunch of little bitches.”
“Language, Ollie,” Mr. Calhoun scolded.
My chest burned. “Oakland?” I turned and looked at Ollie. The entire room fell silent. All eyes were on me.
“She talks!” Eric raised his fist up! “Finally! I was wondering what that pretty voice sounded like.”
Ollie ignored him, glancing at me through his thick eyelashes. His voice grew softer with me than when he was talking to everyone else, and in any other circumstance, that would have annoyed me, but right now I couldn’t think of anything other than the anxiety rising up. “Yeah, we play Oakland on Friday at home.”
Oakland here? Gabe.
I shot up quickly out of my seat, my notebook tumbling to the floor. My words were choppy as Mr. Calhoun turned around to see the commotion. “May I…use...the restroom?”
“Yes, hurry back,” he answered, but I was already halfway out the door. My insides sizzled with an undeniable amount of anxiety. There was a touch of anger, too.
Do not let him have an effect on you, Hayley.
Did Gabe even know that I went to school here? I
plowed through the girl’s restroom. The smell of bleach and a fruity scent did nothing to comfort me. I placed my hands on the cool, tiled wall and dropped my head to stare at my Chucks.