Hoboken waited until the motion picture photographer signaled he was ready to proceed, then called, “Quiet on the set! Rolling! Action! Go ahead, General, ask.”
“Mr. President,” General McNab asked again, “what can you do for me?”
“I am here, General, to help you plan the assault by Clendennen’s Commandos on Drug Cartel International Airfield. I want to be on that Out of the Box Operation from the get-go.”
The President paused, then turned to Robin Hoboken.
“Better?” he asked.
“Much better, Mr. President,” Hoboken said. “I’m glad you remembered Clendennen’s Commandos.”
“Robin, how could I forget my boys?” the President asked chidingly. “They’re like family to
me.”
“Excuse me, Mr. President, sir,” General McNab said. “Who are Clendennen’s Commandos?”
“You used to call them Delta Force and Black Coyote,” the President replied. “Robin, who’s really good at this sort of thing, suggested we needed something with more zing to it.”
“No offense, General,” Hoboken said, “but you military people really dropped the ball naming these people—”
“Actually, it’s Black Fox, not Black Coyote,” General McNab said.
“Fox, coyote, what’s the difference?” the President asked.
“Coyotes and foxes are both members of the Canis latrans order of Mammalia, Mr. President,” Robin Hoboken explained. “Coyotes are larger—”
“I meant,” the President said, “that ‘fox’ and ‘coyote’ are really lousy names—not as bad as what they call those sailor boys, of course. Calling them ‘Seals’ make it sound as if they go into battle making funny noises and with fishes in their mouths—but bad enough.”
“Yes, sir, Mr. President,” Hoboken said. “That’s why you wisely decided to rename them.”
“Well, where are my boys, General?” the President asked. “Hard at work preparing things to seize Drug Cartel International as the first operation of Operation Out of the Box?”
“Sir, I only learned of your plans to seize Drug Cartel International yesterday. I don’t even know where it is.”
“It’s in Mexico,” the President said.
“Permit me to rephrase, sir. I don’t even know precisely where in Mexico it is. We can’t plan an operation until we have an exact location.”
“Ask Colonel Castillo. He must know where it is.”
“Sir, I don’t know where Colonel Castillo is, except in the most general terms.”
“What does that mean?”
“The last I heard, sir, he was in Europe, planning the infiltration of his intelligence people into Somalia.”
“Well, tell him to put those goddamn pirates on the back burner; that’ll have to wait.”
“Yes, sir.”
“I’m really disappointed in you, General,” the President said. “I came all the way down here to see Clendennen’s Commandos getting ready to seize Drug Cartel International, and here you are telling me you don’t even know where it is.”
“Sir, what we really came down here for was to record for history you and Clendennen’s Commandos preparing to seize Drug Cartel International.”
“That’s what I just said,” the President said unpleasantly.
“Mr. President, I’m sure General Naylor here—”