I’m an ivory statue built to last hundreds of years.
There’s an uncomfortable silence expanding between us and Sean breaks it when he says, “Sorry about that.” We stop in front of the glass doors and he nods toward the outside. “You know, earlier.”
I decide that this is it. I’m going to give him one more opportunity to speak for himself. I’m hoping he doesn’t blow it. “Oh yeah,” I say. “What was that all about?”
He remains silent for a second then takes both of my hands in his. I know he’s staring at me. I know he wants me to look him in the eye, but I can’t. Not right now. “Don’t worry about it,” he tells me. “It was nothing important.”
I let go of his hands, let mine drop at my sides, and try, strain, f
ight as hard as I can to hold back the tears welling up in my eyes. “Nothing important,” I whisper. Finally I glare at him. “Nothing important.”
There’s a caring look on his face. “Are you okay?” he asks, a hint of concern in his voice. “Hadlee, if there’s something wrong you need to tell me.”
“You’re what’s wrong!” I shout. “You’re what’s wrong!”
“What?” His mouth falls open, he takes a step back staring at me, baffled. “What the hell are you talking about?
I don’t want to expose the way I feel right now. It takes a lot for me to let it all out. Maybe in time I’ll be able to fully explain it, but not right here. Not right now.
Instead, I swallow hard.
Mentally chant.
Keep it together.
You are strong.
You can do this.
I keep my voice low and level when I say, “You know that everything is not okay.”
He throws his hands up in the air in frustration. “Well then will you please tell me, what the fuck is wrong!”
The five words I’m about to say to him nearly strangle me. I’m not even sure if I can get them out. And I know when I do finally say them there’s going to be a part of me that dies. As painful as it’s going to be, I know the words need to be spoken and it’s at that moment that I tell him, “I want to break up.”
Chapter 10
~Sean~
Days have passed.
Followed by weeks.
It honestly doesn’t even matter anymore because my days, nights, weeks, yeah…time in general all seems to blur together.
Nothing seems right since Hadlee dumped me.
She fucking dumped me.
It’s the first time I’ve ever been dumped.
I’ve been doing my training schedule for upcoming fight at night. Joe comes for a portion of my workout. I do a few rounds of sparring in the early evening which usually results in me knocking my sparring partner out then I complete my workout by skipping rope or going a few rounds with the punching bag.
It’s punching bag kind of night.
The gym is empty.
It’s quiet.