Hovering.
“Who’s that lovely little lady friend?” His accent rings out on the word lovely and I cringe before turning to face him.
I take a few deep breaths, wipe my face clean of any kind of emotion. Then I throw my shoulders back. “Just a friend,” I say non-chalantly.
“Just a friend?” Connie eyes the glass doors then focuses on me. He’s not buying it. I have to up my game.
I nod toward the door smirk. “Yeah, you know?” I shrug. “The hit it and quit it type.”
“Right.” His expression changes and I’m hoping that he buys what I’m fucking selling.
Chapter 7
~Hadlee~
Lara sets a cup of coffee down in front of me then pulls out a chair and sits down next to me. I cup the mug with both of my hands. “Lara, I don’t know how much longer I can take this,” I mention. My eyes water up and I squeeze them shut, holding back the tears. “The secrets…the lies…it’s all too much. I can’t handle it.”
I open my eyes and notice the intense look on Lara’s face. Her eyes sweep over face like she’s examining me. Hard. It’s like I’m a math problem and she’s trying so hard to find the answer. Then she rubs my forearm lovingly, a faint smile on her lips. “Lee, sometimes some things are just better left unsaid.” There’s a tenderness in her tone that I truly appreciate in this moment. She shrugs. “Maybe he has a really good reason for keeping things from you.”
The look on my face twists from hurt to anger. I can’t believe her. I can’t believe her. She is my best friend. She’s supposed to be there for me. “Are you taking his side?” There’s a vehement tone in my voice that I can’t hide.
She looks at me with shock etched into her soft features. “Are you serious right now? Are you even listening to yourself?” She shakes her head, sits back in her chair, and folds her arms across her chest. “I can’t believe you just accused me of that.”
“Well that’s what it sounded like to me,” I snap.
She continues shaking her head. “All I’m saying is that maybe there’s a reason that’s much bigger than you and him. Maybe that’s why he’s so secretive about everything. Did you ever think of that? Hmm, Lee?” She leans forward, resting her arms on the table.
No because that doesn’t matter.
A reason bigger than me and him should not matter.
“I don’t expect him to spill the beans on every portion of his life, Lara. All I want from him is something. Anything. Even if it’s a minor detail, I’d be completely content with that.” He gives me nothing… Well I take that back, I do get ‘don’t worry about its’ and ‘nothing.’ I’ve always believed that you can’t have a decent, lasting relationship built on secrets and lies.
I hold back words that I know need to be said, but I don’t want to say them. Just thinking them makes me eyes start to water again and a deep, plunging, throbbing pain punctures my heart.
With shaking hands, I bring the cup of coffee to my lips and take a big gulp. After I swallow, I let out a long, ragged breath. “I need to end it,” I say. “This is not how a relationship works.”
I eye Lara as the tears drip down my cheeks. My face is on fire and I place both of my hands on my cheeks, hoping they’ll put out the blaze. My hands are cold and it helps a little, but not by much.
“Are sure that’s what you want, Lee?” Lara probes. I close my eyes, but I can feel hers on me. She’s examining me again, I know it. “I know you love him.”
I do love him.
More than anything.
It’s like I am the moon, illuminating the dark, night sky with my love for him.
In my eyes he is my first, my last, my one and only.
I know deep down in my heart that I’ll never love another the way I love him. I know that when or if I ever look into another man’s eyes, I won’t feel the same way. I know and feel if any person ever has a chance at that one, true thing they shouldn’t waste it.
But then…
There are moments where you have to ask yourself when enough enough is. And when enough is enough how long after that will you hit the point where you break?
Shatter.
Explode into a million little pieces.