I’m about three miles away from the gym when I see her jogging down the sidewalk. She looks adorable in her jogging shorts and I smile to myself as I jog up behind her.
There I go again with that word.
Adorable.
I groan.
I’m going to permanently delete it from my brain and my fucking vocabulary.
Hanging back, I remain at least a hundred feet away from her, not wanting her to know that I’m watching her.
That just her running fascinates me.
That even from where I’m standing she looks angelic.
The muscles in my stomach clench.
My heart beats out of sync.
Rays of glittering sunlight flit down from the heavens, and caress her pale shoulders. She looks like she’s glowing. Her hair is swept up into a ponytail, but a few strands have broken free from the grasp of her hair tie and dangle around her face.
I close my eyes and I can see her in my mind.
She’s smiling.
Her smile is wide and radiant.
Her big blue eyes sparkle as her smile touches them.
My eyes snap open and I stop running. I keep my eyes on Hadlee as she hangs a left and disappears from my view.
Then I hold my head in my hands in start pacing.
Yes. I am totally freaking out.
There’s an internal battle royale going on inside of me.
My mind has a sword.
My heart has a shield.
And the clashing of the metal when it connects throbs in my temples.
It doesn’t matter how many times my mind tells me not to go there my heart disagrees with it. The truth is—I want this girl.
And not just to do naughty things with her.
Although that has definitely crossed my mind.
More than a few times.
But those thoughts are always interrupted by the tiny voice of reason. That voice that always pops up when I don’t want it to. Hasn’t the girl been through enough? What could you possibly give her except for lies and pain? You don’t even know how to be in a relationship.
That’s the truth, I scoff to myself. I’m one blind mother fucker when it comes to relationships. A big part of that is probably because I told myself a long time ago that I’d never enter into one.
Now look at me.
I’m pining over an angel, a girl who I know is good, and pure, and innocent.