“You mean you’re not willing to give us a chance to trust us?” Laverty asked.
“No. I can’t…I won’t risk it.”
“Risk what? We’re not going to hurt you,” Evan said to her. She shook her head and closed her eyes.
“I can’t make the same mistakes. I have to do what’s best for Kenny.”
“We’re not Kenny’s father, Lois. I don’t know what he did to you, but we’re not him,” Ford said firmly.
“I don’t know that, okay? I don’t really know any of you.” She looked down and Ghost glanced at his brothers. They wanted her as their woman. They were willing to be patient and to wait, but Ghost suddenly had all these fears. Like if she were so scared from what her ex did to her and to Kenny, what if he hurt her or Kenny, too? What if he awoke in one of his nightmare states and became forceful, yelled, or was worse off in his condition? Perhaps he was better off stepping back and letting his brothers take the lead and have a happy life with her.
“Get to know us,” Laverty said to her.
“I’m trying to. Don’t force the issue.”
Laverty’s eyes widened and Ghost felt the upset at her statement. Were his brothers coming on too strong? Any other woman would have already been in their beds. That thought made him feel like a prick and he knew Lois was more than that. They’d never offered to be a woman’s guardian, but in an instant, meeting Lois for the first time had affected each of his brothers when they made the decision. He had been the last to meet her, and even he felt compelled to protect her.
“We’re not going to push anything on you. We’re your guardians. Remember that. It means we protect you, watch over you, and help you
with anything we can. So if our guidance, our support, helps you make cookies and package them so you can make money, support your son, and also feel accomplished, then we’re going to do that. Let’s finish up. It’s getting late and we’ll need to get these cookies to the farm early,” Evan said to her and she nodded as he pulled her into an embrace and hugged her. They all watched her stiffen up, but as Evan caressed her back, slowly, Lois wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him back.
* * * *
The next morning, after Lois and Evan brought up all the cookies to sell and dropped off the special orders, Evan drove her back down to the cottage. The kids were all out at school and Valentina and Grace were over at the men’s house. She had about thirty minutes before she would leave for her therapy session in town at the medical center.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?” he asked Lois as they approached the front door to the cottage.
“No, thank you. I’ll be fine,” she said and unlocked the front door. He held the storm door open and she turned to look at him and felt that scared, uneasy feeling in her gut. She’d talked to Valentina about what happened in their kitchen last night, how she blew them off and probably made them feel bad even though she hadn’t meant to. She was just scared. Each of them were so scary because of their professions, their capabilities, and all those muscles, yet she couldn’t stop thinking about them and wondering what it might feel like to really be cared for and loved. Could they possibly provide the safety and security she and Kenny had never had in their lives, or would they be her next big mistake?
“Invite me in, Lois. I promised slow, and I meant it.”
He was so damn good-looking with his dark, short hair, his dark brown eyes, and that tan, gorgeous face. His thick eyebrows made his eyes stand out so much, he could have been a model. She let him in and then he closed the door and she walked toward the kitchen.
“Can I get you something to drink? Water, iced tea?” she asked.
“Water is fine. Thank you,” he said to her.
Lois grabbed two water bottles out of the refrigerator and placed them on the counter. He was right next to her. They both opened the bottles and took sips as they held each other’s gaze.
“Make sure you’re careful later. There may be a passing thunder storm with torrential downpour.”
She nodded her head at him.
He stared down into her eyes and she felt her heart racing. Her palms began to sweat and she placed the water bottle down on the counter and he stepped close to her. The moment his hands landed on her hips, she grabbed on to his forearms.
“Easy, Lois.” He held her gaze and she felt the one hand on her waist move up her side and then he cupped her cheek and tilted her head up toward him.
“It’s so hard to not touch you. To not want you close. I’ve never really felt like this before, Lois. It’s not a line. I’m not that kind of man.” He used his thumb to stroke her jaw gently and she felt her belly tighten. Her eyes zeroed in on his lips and she wanted him to kiss her yet feared the consequences of him doing so. She knew if he kissed her that the others would kiss her, and then instead of fearing the intimate touch of one man, she would fear four.
“God, baby, talk to me. Let me in. Please help me to understand your fears. To know what I can do to help you be happy.”
She blinked her eyes and felt a tear leak from it. Evan squinted his eyes at her and then brushed the tear away with his thumb. He pressed closer and she gripped his waist with one hand and his forearm with the other.
They were silent. In her mind she said the words she wanted to say out loud. I’m so scared to be touched. I feel like garbage. So stupid and worthless. I fear for Kenny’s safety and don’t want him to be scared or to see another man or men hurt me.
Another tear fell.
“Lois?”