He did though. He was slowly beginning to tear down that wall. She was so beautiful, so sexy, and he wondered if any relationship would continue after the case was over. He had his fears about commitment as well but that was before he met Grace. He had been so afraid to get close to any one woman. He saw the struggles in the relationship between his father and his mother. He didn’t want that kind of life. His father put the Marine Corps first and there was always another mission. While other husbands were beginning to plan for retirement or slow down a little, his father was determined to volunteer for more missions. One more dangerous than the next. He had no problem leaving his wife and he never gave it a second thought. His mother was very strong and so supportive, yet she cried continually fearing for her husband’s life, having difficulty dealing with the loneliness.
He felt that was what actually killed her. She became depressed and eventually mentally unstable. She didn’t have any problems with her heart but it just gave out on her one day. The doctors said it was a stroke but he felt she died from a broken heart. His father hadn’t even made it to her funeral. He was on some crazy mission and there was no way to contact him. The thoughts angered Sandman all over again. The relationship between him and his father beg
an to weaken and he lost respect for him. While others would compliment Sandman on his father’s heroic accomplishments, he would just nod his head, give a courteous thank-you, and hope he wouldn’t turn out to be just like him. His brothers felt the same way. It must have really sent his mom over the edge when all three sons decided to follow in their father’s path. They were young. They weren’t committed to anything other than the Corps. That was life as a Marine.
He could have easily become his father. Sandman loved taking on any and every possible mission or extra training missions he could. He wanted to stay clear of his father and clear of any intimate relationships. They saw each other briefly between missions and avoided any conversations that involved their emotions or his mother.
Big Jay and Duke were all Sandman had in the world. They decided to retire from the service and settle down, commit to one location. So what that it was amongst other service men and women in a community of first responders? They loved their jobs and that was what scared him about Grace.
The way she described what she did and her desire to continue put any ideas of long-term commitment out of the equation. She traveled to work in Europe. The last time he was overseas, he was nearly killed by terrorists.
He looked at Grace again, grateful that their lives were thrown together. She was a lot like him and his brothers. She was so strong on the outside but inside she was afraid, not wanting to take chances with herself physically or emotionally, yet she still left her family, left the country, and pursued an exciting career. He wanted to know everything about her but they needed to focus on the case. He needed to protect her and he would do more than that. He was in love with her and would have to submerge those feelings if he was to stay focused and alert.
That thought was clarified when he got a call from Jim Warner informing him that information was leaked about Grace’s whereabouts. He agreed to keep Grace in the dark but he wouldn’t be able to stop her from watching the TV. She would want to go home, and of course he would refuse to take her. Sandman smiled to himself as something she said made both of his brothers laugh.
“What kind of stories are you telling them?” Sandman asked.
“She is one funny little lady. I’ll tell you,” Big Jay said then wiped the tears of laughter away from his eyes.
Grace was smiling as she helped Duke with the tray of sandwiches.
“What did Jim want this morning?” she asked as she sat down next to Big Jay at the wooden table on the porch.
“He just wanted to update me on the investigation back home. Nothing’s new,” Sandman replied as he avoided eye contact with her. Lying to Grace was more difficult than he thought it would be.
Grace took notice and so did his brothers.
“Sandman?” She touched his hand, stopping him from lifting his sandwich.
She looked into his eyes and he knew he was in for it.
“I know you’re not telling me something. What’s going on? What happened at home?”
“Nothing happened at home, Grace. I told you that,” he said to her but she wouldn’t budge.
“You’re afraid I’ll make you take me home, aren’t you?” she asked him as Duke and Big Jay watched and listened.
“You can’t make me do any such thing. Now leave it alone, Grace. If there’s something you need to know, I’ll be the one to tell you,” he replied firmly.
Grace stared at him a moment and realized he was serious and she dropped the subject.
“I think we should focus on Grace’s profile of the killer,” Big Jay said.
“My profile?” she asked.
Sandman explained her theory as well as the similar patterns in each crime scene.
“I asked Jim to look into the other suspects from the other cases. Maybe something will come up from that,” Sandman said, still recalling that conversation and also how Grace’s location could have been compromised.
“What about the letters? Anything ring a bell there for Grace?” Duke asked.
Sandman never told Grace about the letters. He knew the latest one would upset her.
“What letters?” she asked, and Duke looked at Sandman, knowing he fucked up.
“Oh I must be thinking about something else. I’m sorry,” Duke said as he rose from his chair to clear his plate.
“Nice try, Duke. What letters, Sandman?” Grace asked. She held his gaze and he wished he could lie to her.