“Liam, I don’t know what you mean. I don’t know Jameson or Jax at all. I know nothing about them.”
“But they make your eyes sparkle and fill you with energy and excitement. It’s plain as day to see.”
“No, no way. I don’t know them. Besides, you saw that scene back there. That was what I was afraid of. This is not me, Liam,” she said as she pointed to her outfit and then wrapped her arms around herself. “I don’t belong here as anything more than your date for the evening.”
He raised his eyebrows at her, and she raised hers at him. He chuckled.
“Come on, let’s go see that artwork.” She accepted his hand as he led her out of the hallway and back toward the gathering. But he whispered to her as they walked and she imagined for a moment, if things were different, if she weren’t such a nobody, would Jax and Jameson pursue her at all?
“You know, things aren’t always as they seem, Mariana. Sometimes risks are worth taking, even if only for a moment of pure bliss.” Liam squeezed her hand, and she wondered, Why can’t I be attracted to Liam, instead of two very dark, mysterious, and dominant men who seem to make me want things I’ve never even dreamed of trying?
She would dream of their touch, the intensity of their eyes, and taking a chance that could kill her inside and ruin her life entirely. She couldn’t allow those dreams, those fantasies to make a decision for her. Life was not a movie, a scene in a painting, a magical experience. The realities of life sucked. Bills, death, loneliness, and battle after battle were all part of her life. Once she got through all of that, perhaps she could focus on happiness after survival.
Chapter 6
Mariana dressed in her plain old clothes. A pair of old blue jeans, a hoodie, and her sneakers. She looked at the gorgeous dress one last time before zipping up the garment bag. A glance around the elaborate bedroom in Freda’s home and she was in awe once again of the lifestyle some people got to live. She looked into the mirror, the amazing sophisticated-woman act she pulled off tonight now disappeared back into the pumpkin. No more makeup, fancy hairstyle, or expensive jewelry. Everything was placed back where it belonged, and last would be her.
She needed to head home. It was nearly two in the morning, and she had a test to study for. The reality of life, her life, was breathing down her neck and crashing against her chest. She felt the tears emerge. She wanted more, she was fighting for more, but she had to stop thinking that she would ever fit into a world like this one.
Mariana grabbed her backpack and dinky jacket. It was cold outside but still colder in her apartment. The warmth of this room, the large king-size bed, and all the lovely accent pillows looked so appealing. She wished she could lie down and rest here and not venture out into the cold and to her small cave of reality.
She swallowed hard then opened the door and began her departure down the long hallway. There were gorgeous pictures both from artists and from photographers.
She reached the winding staircase, a picture perfect home out of a magazine of mansions. Freda was a lucky woman.
“There you are. Are you certain you don’t want to spend the night? It’s no trouble at all,” Freda said as she stood at the bottom of the stairs.
“Oh, I couldn’t do that. I’m fine, really.”
“It’s no trouble at all, Mariana, really,” Freda said. Her blue eyes sparkled, and she looked so nice and motherly. She’s not your mother, idiot. Your mother was a drug addict and a loser. This is not your world.
* * * *
Freda could see the emotional struggle Mariana was going through. A quick talk with Liam, who was very impressed and taken by Mariana, uncovered some interesting information. Mariana was young, she was quite resourceful, and definitely was interested in Jameson and Jax. Any fool could see the attraction between the three of them. But this woman had fears, uncertainties, and Freda was learning what those were.
“Perhaps another time then, you could plan on staying. We could have breakfast together. I’m forced to eat alone so often with Derrick, my husband, gone.”
Mariana looked up at her, and she suddenly looked sad. That wasn’t Freda’s intention at all. Especially after Alvin told her where Mariana had gone before she arrived here this evening for her first date. The poor girl visited the grave of her deceased mother. Yes, things were beginning to become quite clear to Freda.
“I’m sorry, perhaps another time, Freda. I don’t want to impose or be a bother. What you’ve done for me is quite beyond the norm of what a boss does for their employee.”
Freda smiled.
“You are special, Mariana. Even Liam noticed that about you.”
Mariana smiled.
“He was a very nice man and handsome, too. I enjoyed his company. So, I should get going. It’s late and I don’t want to miss the bus and wait another hour in the cold.”
“Oh, Benny is going to drive you home, dear.”
“No, that’s okay. You’ve done so much.” Mariana began to head for the door.
“Mariana, honey, I know where you live. It’s nothing to be ashamed about. You’re trying to pay for college.”
The poor woman looked so sad and about to cry, Freda felt terrible.
“You know, how? Why?”