“But- Ambi-”
“It’s alright, Trey. We’re going to be okay. I’ve spent years learning how to make myself happy and so have you, whether you know it or not. We had a good time in college. Honestly, these past few weeks were fun too. Frustrating and crazy and- and everything, but I’m a big girl. We’re both adults now. We’re not some college kids too naïve to realize how the world really works. We’ll be okay. We’ll move on. I’m not saying find other people, but we both know how to survive in the world, so we’ll keep on doing that. Your dad isn’t going to change his mind. I can never be with you knowing that I tore you away from your family. He might not like me, but he’s still your dad. You’re his son. I don’t want to take that away from him. He’s already lost a lot. Losing you would break him.”
Trey was floored. He’d never thought about his father in that light before. His dad had always been a powerful man. A man who built up a thriving company from almost nothing. A man who exuded confidence, and later, wealth. A hard man who didn’t talk about his feelings often. He was fierce and passionate about the things he wanted in life and he’d passed that down to Trey. He’d never thought about his dad as someone vulnerable and breakable beneath that rigid exterior.
“He’ll change his mind.” Even as the words came out, there wasn’t much conviction behind them. He knew his father better than that. Apparently, though they’d met only twice before, so did she. She snorted, but it was a soft snort, not the mocking kind. More like the sad laughter kind. “I’m not letting this be a goodbye,” Trey ground out. “He’ll change his mind. I’ll get him to understand. I’m not letting you get away again.”
“Alright.” She ducked her head, her voice so soft that he almost missed that one word.
“Alright?”
“Yeah. Alright. If he changes his mind, really changes his mind, come find me. You know where I am. I’m not holding out hope though, Trey. I can’t promise that I’ll still be single in another five years.”
“I get it, Ambi. I do. I know I wasted a lot of time. I’m not planning on letting it happen again. It’s not going to take me five years to get my head on straight. I promise.”
“It’s okay, Trey. Really. You can’t force this. You just have to let it happen. I’m just saying. I don’t think it will ever happen. I don’t have any expectations. I think we just need to get on with our lives and keep learning what it takes to make ourselves happy. If you should happen to meet someone in that time, I’m okay with that.” Ambi’s lips wavered at the end, but she clamped her top teeth down into her bottom one to keep it from wobbling.
It was pretty damn evident that she was so far from being okay with what she was saying, but she was making an effort. For him. She was letting him go, not because she thought she should, but because she didn’t want to hurt anyone. Not him. Not his dad. She was doing what she truly believed was the right thing. Hurting herself to keep his family together.
It was noble.
It was honorable.
It didn’t matter that he didn’t want her to be either of those things. When she made up her mind, she was unshakable. She was a much better person, definitely a bigger person than he was and would probably ever be. That was part of the reason he loved her so much. Because she was fiercely intelligent, completely loyal, kind and compassionate to a fault. She was goodness and so much freaking light. He wished that she had an ounce of darkness in her soul. Just a little selfishness. Just enough that she’d tell him to stay, no matter the consequences.
She didn’t though. Instead, she stood tall and regal, her hands still bunched at her sides, her neck straight and proud, her chin tilted up. She was glorious, a queen among women. The only woman he’d ever loved and the only one he ever would.
“He’ll change his mind. I promise.”
She didn’t nod. She didn’t say she hoped so. She didn’t say anything. She just blinked at him slowly, her eyes filled up with pain she couldn’t tamp down and hide away.
He let himself out. Without a goodbye, because he didn’t want to say those words. Good. Bye. Such simple words, loaded with so much meaning. It wasn’t goodbye. It couldn’t be.
Because he was beyond certain that he couldn’t live without Ambi. Losing her would be a mortal wound, one he’d never recover from. So, no. Goodbye was not an option.
CHAPTER 18
Trey
Even though it was past six and dark, his father was still exactly where Trey expected to find him- tucked behind the massive oak desk in his office. It wasn’t made up of particle board or pressed wood. That desk was the real deal. Passed down in their family through generations. His father didn’t keep the desk at home, in a home office. No, he brought that bastard all the way downtown and had a moving crew haul it up. How they got it through the doorways and into his father’s office, Trey had no idea.