“Yes. She confessed that she wanted us to marry four years ago and that she tried to play matchmaker at my comeout ball.”
“I know,” Ian replied, not trying to conceal his amused irony. “I had every intention of evading her efforts, but then I saw you for the first time. You were laughing with Richard, and the sight cut right through me. But when you fell in love with my cousin, you became off-limits. It was damned hard for me to be near you, Tess, always wanting what I couldn’t have.”
“Lady Wingate thought you might be jealous of Richard.”
“I was, savagely so. But like Richard, I wanted to be a better man because of you. To win your admiration and respect. I wanted to see that same look in your eyes that you always had for him.”
“You are a good man, Ian. You have proven it in countless ways.”
“Have I?”
“Indeed. It was remarkably admirable for you to take Jamie in as your ward.”
Ian shrugged. “My reputation was already tarnished. What was one more blot on the whole?” His features lightened. “And then I came to love the little fellow.” Ian’s gaze held Tess’s. “I will send him away from Bellacourt if you wish it, but—”
“Good heavens, no. I don’t want him sent away. As you said, he is an innocent child. And he needs a mother as well as a father.”
“Lady Wingate thinks I coddle Jamie too much, but I want him to grow up knowing he is loved.”
“He will be. By us both.”
Ian briefly kissed her temple, then drew back. “You are amazing, did you know?”
His eyes were so vivid with warmth, it made her own eyes smart. “I am amazed you think so. I thought you despised me for being a starry-eyed idealist.”
“Never. I love your passion, Tess. Your fierce devotion to your causes is part of who you are.” His mouth curved. “The truth is, I had recently resolved to try my hand at courting you, since according to your godmother, you were finally coming out of mourning for Richard. And then I walked in on you kissing Hennessy. Speaking of savage jealousy … he was fortunate I didn’t pummel him to a pulp.”
“He only kissed me on impulse, Ian. And I only responded because I wanted to know what it felt like to be kissed by a man other than Richard. If it will make you feel any better, I did not enjoy kissing Hennessy one whit. I was impatient for him to be done with it.”
Ian planted his own tender kiss on her lips. “At least your wanton experiment spurred me to act. I couldn’t let you get away twice. I was actually glad when Lady Wingate insisted we had to marry.”
“I never knew,” Tess said softly.
“I didn’t want you to know. For my own self-protection, I needed to keep up the barriers between us. I cultivated your animosity on purpose for years.”
“Is that why you didn’t want me to know about your generosity?”
“Yes. Because you would have looked at me more kindly. I wanted you to think me your adversary so I could better resist you.”
Tess couldn’t help but laugh. “You succeeded admirably, Ian. It always infuriated me, how you always got under my skin so easily.”
“You got under my skin as well. You were in my head, my loins, my heart.…” Ian chuckled softly at himself. “I didn’t want to love you, but my plan failed miserably. The more I fought you, the more I wanted you.”
“It was the same with me,” Tess acknowledged.
He exhaled in relief. “I wish I’d had an inkling of your feelings before this. You could have saved me a good deal of agony this afternoon. I was desperate enough to visit your friends, to seek their advice on how to win you.”
“Which friends?”
“Fanny Irwin and the Loring sisters.”
“Seriously? You asked their advice? What did they say?”
“That I should confess my love to you, first and foremost.”
“They were right, you know,” Tess agreed sweetly. “I suppose I can contrive to forgive you for keeping the truth from me, Ian. But please, no more secrets between us?”
“That goes for you as well, love.”