“You’re lucky.”
She took pity on him and sat down beside him. “Here. Let me help.”
“Thanks.”
Her nails above his t-shirt felt like heaven. Seriously. His cock had deflated on the way home, but it kicked back to life and went right back to siphoning all the blood out of his brain again. Or maybe that was the mosquitoes he had to blame for that. Either way, something wasn’t processing right again.
“I should probably warn you that when that tattoo starts healing, it’s going to feel a hundred times worse than it does now. Not as sore or burning or throbbing or whatever it’s doing at the moment-”
“It’s doing all of those at the moment.”
“Yeah. It can be a bitch after.”
“I’m not sure why anyone gets these things. But anyway, tell me what you were going to say about how it gets worse.”
“Oh.” Bella went on itching his back lightly and he leaned into it. The madness from the itch started to leave his system as she worked her magic. “That. Yeah, well when it starts healing, like really healing, it will likely peel and then it just gets so itchy. Like you want to tear your leg off and eat it for breakfast just so it stops itching itchy.”
“Jesus.”
“Yeah. It’s annoying. The healing part is the worst part of getting them I think. I can live with the pain but the healing just gets worse and worse the more tattoos you end up getting.”
“Why would you do that to yourself?”
“Honestly…” Bella hesitated. Her nails stopped their trail for a second before they resumed their light perusal of his back. “I guess it’s a kind of therapy at first. Or maybe people just like the art or something. Or they’re curious. For me, it was definitely therapy. I wanted some pain. I thought this was the best way.”
“What do you mean you wanted some pain?”
Her nails stopped again. “I don’t know you well enough to talk about that. Just- I guess, I don’t really want to get into it, but I will say that sometimes shit hurts and life hurts and uh- it gets to be a lot to deal with and I know that I take things in and dwell on them and I feel things really deeply, and sometimes, the only way to get them out is through physical crap. Like going for a long run or working out really hard or- through tattoos. I was just interested in them at first. I liked the way they looked, and I thought that girls who had them were pretty badass. I never wanted bad ones. Like, I always wanted the art to be good. I cared about that way more. Then I couldn’t stop. I enjoy it. I got to be good friends with the artists who I went to. I liked meeting people that way. Making friends who had common interests and were a little fucked up too. Artsy people usually are, you know.”
“Er… I guess so.” Rhett figured he knew what she was talking about. He wasn’t an artist though, so he wasn’t exactly sure he truly got it. He didn’t profess to know what it felt like to want to hurt yourself and not know how to get it out or deal with things in a different way. He’d never really felt like that. Except for his wedding. When he took all that pain and rage and hurt and bottled it, or rather, drank it away, and then he’d done something physical about it alright.
But that probably wasn’t really what Bella was talking about. And he’d liked it…
Or maybe it was.
“And then I got so many and got to know so many people so well. When one shop turned their receptionist into their apprentice, I got offered a job. I was just working at a plumbing heating company and it was bullshit and I was doing waitressing on the side and I hated that too, so I was really happy to be doing something that I actually liked. And it was way easier to get tattoos and now, I at least get a discount.”
Rhett was glad that Bella’s tone was still light. She wasn’t pissed off like he thought she was on the drive home. Maybe it was just easier for them both to be silent after the awkward as hell exchange in the field.
He still couldn’t believe he stood out there naked.
He’d never done anything like that in his life.
“Don’t worry. Once this one heals, you’ll probably think you never want another and then one day you’ll see this piece of art you really love or you’ll get all inspired and you’ll be back for another before you know it.”
“I highly doubt that.”
Bella jumped up behind him and plopped back down at his side. She winked at him. “Never say never.” He liked that her playful side was back, and he actually breathed a sigh of relief that she didn’t perma-hate him for the misunderstanding in the car. He was still baffled, but then again, he was a guy. Maybe he just didn’t get it. Maybe he’d never fully understand. He was okay with that. He just didn’t want her to be mad at him.