Alice rolled her eyes. “I have enough to deal with today.”
“I think we may sell out,” Johnny called after her.
Back at her own desk, her phone rang. She took the call from Henry just as Ivan walked through her door.
“Hi,” Henry said. “Just checking to see if you’re coping.”
Ivan’s eyes ran over her, their lustful expression making the air in the office climb with several degrees.
“I’m fine,” she said.
“I still feel bad about my contribution to the situation.”
Ivan perched on the edge of her desk and tilted his head to study her legs.
“Don’t. Just feel happy if it raised your circulation figure.”
She barely swallowed her gulp when Ivan smoothed his hand up her calf, running it over her knee and up her thigh. She clamped her legs together and frowned at him, but he only grinned back.
“I think you can do with some support,” Henry continued. “How about dinner tonight?”
“I–I don’t…” She faltered when Ivan got up and locked her door. “Um…”
“I’m not letting you off the hook. I’ll pick you up at eight.”
“No,” she said quickly, knowing Cain’s team would be there to raise Henry’s suspicions. “Tell me where to meet you.”
“How does Chinese sound?”
Ivan was advancing on her.
“Fine. Text me the address.”
She hung up and got to her feet. “What are you doing?”
He stopped short of her. “Wow, you look amazing.”
“It’s not that different to what I usually wear,” she said defensively.
He studied her as if she were a mystery he tried to figure out. He threaded his fingers through her hair. “You’re wearing your hair down.” He gave a tug and dropped his hands to her shoulders, dragging them down her back to her ass. “Your cleavage is showing.”
“You’re such a man.”
“Better believe it. I’m going to prove it to you, too.”
She sucked in a breath when he released her abruptly and reached for the button of his jeans.
“Are you crazy?”
The button popped from the hole.
“Ivan, we can’t do this.”
He pinned her against the desk with his hands on either side of her body. “You can’t do this to me. You can’t walk in here looking like this. I want you, Alice.”
“There’s a time and place.”
“Where you’re concerned, my desire knows no manners.”
“This is inappropriate.”
“How much I need you is never inappropriate.”
This wasn’t about feelings. They were back to lust. This was about an obsessive addiction, something secret they shared, something only he could give her, but it wasn’t enough. She wanted the wicked heat and the sinister darkness of their mutual desire, but even more so the tender loving she’d tasted in the missionary position last night.
“I need more,” she said.
“No one can want you more than I do.” He touched his hard-on. “Here’s the proof.”
“That’s not what I mean. I need a man who’ll want me for more than my body.”
He lowered his head for a kiss, but she turned her face away. “I need someone I can spend my life with. I need a man I can see as the father of my children.”
“I don’t fit that role?” He gave a sad smile. “I may not be the guy you see yourself growing old with, but I could be the man you see in your bed, tonight, and the next night, and the next.” He held her gaze. “Just take it one night at a time. Nothing bad is going to happen if you let go.”
He couldn’t be more wrong. Having her heart broken was the worst thing that could happen. The stronger his hold on her grew, the more it was going to hurt when it all came crashing down.
He cupped her face and rubbed his thumb under her eye. “You have to live in the moment. The present is all we’ve got. Tomorrow, we may be dead.”
He didn’t get it. She’d die a happy woman knowing he loved her.
“What do you say?” He kissed her softly. “Shall I come over later?”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I have plans for tonight.”
His hands fell away from her face as he took a step back. Even though it was what she’d asked him to do, she wanted to scream at him to come back, to take the choice from her hands, again. This time, however, he turned away. With every step he took, her body went colder. He unlocked the door and left without looking back.
She dropped into her chair like a zombie. A part of her realized she’d always been preparing herself for the moment of cutting Ivan loose. She’d never stopped preparing herself since the night he’d first walked out on her nine years ago. With every new and potential boyfriend, she’d already prepared herself for them leaving long before the relationship had even started.
The revelation came as a shock. She didn’t want to be the sad, lonely woman who borrowed affection from her neighbor’s cat. She didn’t want to end up like her dad. It was time to face the truth and the options she had.