He placed his palms on the insides of her thighs and opened them wide with a rough push. True to his promise, there was nothing of the tender look she’d seen in his eyes when they’d first been together. There was only need and darkness. She feared and welcomed both. A part of her wanted that darkness because it would feel so good to be purged with his wrath.
“I would’ve loved you gently,” he said, his gaze searching hers. Upon her silence, he gave a nod. “You made your condition. Now I’ll make mine. When I’m naked, you don’t get to back out, any longer.”
She bit her lip. There was no going back. She’d already surrendered to that knowledge. For all her intentions of staying strong, she couldn’t win the battle with herself, and, to her surprise, it felt good to surrender.
After taking off her glasses and depositing them on the nightstand, he pulled open the drawer and removed a coil of rope.
Her breath caught. “What is that for?”
He stretched the rope, testing its elasticity, and gave her a slow smile. “You know what it’s for.”
She’d only ever had vanilla. The first time with Ivan had been so intense it had felt like much more, but they’d been in a missionary position. That was how she’d done it with the few lovers she’d had since. Kink wasn’t her thing, but she already knew this was going deeper than kink. It scared her witless. Most surprising was that the fear excited her.
He dropped the rope on the bed and pulled the T-shirt over his head, exposing his ripped chest. The muscles bunched in his arms as he reached for his belt. He tugged it from his jeans and dropped it to the floor, holding her eyes as he unfastened the button and pulled down the zipper.
Her mouth went dry when he pushed the fabric over his hips to free his cock. She’d forgotten how big he was. During their first time, he’d insisted on keeping the lights on, but she’d been too shy to stare. Not so, now. She was past the point of being embarrassed about the coldness of the situation. Fully naked, he walked to the edge of the bed, still looking down at her with that peculiar sad light in his eyes.
He didn’t allow her to enjoy the sight of his naked body for long. Bending down, he ran his hands over the length of her body, pausing on her breasts to pinch her nipples. They pebbled into aching points, begging for more, but he flipped her onto her stomach and lifted her arms above her head. She lay perfectly still as he tied her arms and legs to the corners of the bed, spreading her like a sacrifice. Stretched to her limit, she couldn’t move her limbs.
Too frightened to look, she kept her face burrowed in the pillow, anticipating his next move. Her muscles quivered not only from cold, but also from trepidation as Ivan knelt between her legs.
“Do I need to use a condom?” he asked.
She didn’t want anything between them. “I’m on birth control, and I’m clean.”
“So am I.” He shoved a pillow underneath her hips that lifted her ass and exposed her in the most vulnerably way.
Without warning, he parted her folds and pushed a finger inside. Already wet, her muscles welcomed the intrusion, gripping when he pulled out. She moaned. She longed for his voice, but he said nothing as he worked her arousal around her clit and rubbed two fingers over the sensitive nub. It took her only a few seconds to come.
Disappointment that he wasn’t inside her when she found her release washed over her. It made her feel empty even as aftershocks from the intense but short orgasm pulsed through her body. He stretched out on top of her, his chest pressed to her back, and stayed like that for a moment, skin on skin, before lifting off. Expecting him to take her, she called out in surprise when his finger gathered her wetness and worked it around the pucker of her ass.
His intention hit her too late. Before she could utter another sound, he penetrated the tight hole with his finger, making her gasp with discomfort. He stilled, giving her time to adjust to the intrusion.
The mattress creaked, and then he breathed in her ear, “It’ll be easier if you relax.”
When he started pumping, the burn set in, but she welcomed the sensation, needing it with a fierceness she didn’t understand. It didn’t matter why. She wanted to hurt, and she needed him to punish her. He pulled out, making her ass muscles clench. That was it? It wasn’t so bad.
He turned her face to the side, wiping away the hair that had slipped free from her bun, and placed an object in her line of vision.