“Where to?” Lann asked.
“Alice’s place. Is Sean still keeping watch?”
“Yes.”
Nobody said anything during the tense ride. When they pulled up on her street and parked next to her gate, Alice got out and made her way to her house. Sean stood in the entrance, but discreetly left once Cain entered. Alone with her dad, not having to keep up an appearance, any longer, her shoulders sagged with a grief so deep she wasn’t sure she could survive. She looked around the space, at a loss. What was she supposed to do, now? What was she supposed to do without Ivan? Inside, she felt dead. Her body was numb even as her heart was breaking with such devastating force she thought it would stop beating.
She covered her face with her hands.
“Come,” Cain said gently behind her, taking her arm and leading her to the lounge. He made her sit on the sofa and took the seat next to her. “You need to know what happened. The sooner you know, the sooner you can start healing.” He took her hand. “It’s going to be hard, and you’ll never get over it, not one hundred percent, but life does go on, and with time it becomes bearable. There may even be someone for you again in the future.”
She looked up quickly. “Never. I’ll love no one like I loved him.”
There was a plea in Cain’s voice. “Alice.”
“Did you think you could love someone after Mom died?” When he didn’t answer for some time, she said, “Did you?”
He blew out a sigh. “Not at the time.”
“Do you love someone, now? Is there someone new?”
He averted his eyes. “No.”
“I’ll never be whole without him.”
“I know.” He squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry.”
She wiped her tears away with her free hand. “Why? Why did he have to be cursed with that damn gift? It made him suffer so much, only to get him killed.”
He brushed a tear from her cheek. “Alice, listen to me. I owe him to tell you the full story, and I need for you to hear me out.”
A sense of foreboding stiffened her spine. “Why are you saying it like you’re guilty?”
“Ivan called me an hour ago to say he’d had a visit from Boris. He asked that we meet at the theater. When we got there, he told us Godfrey had taken you. Him and I both knew no matter what he did, Godfrey wasn’t going to release you. He’d promised Boris a prize, and the prize was your life. Ivan called up Nicolas, but all he could tell us was that you were in the building. Our infrared couldn’t penetrate all of the theatre structure. A search would’ve taken too long. Our only chance at saving you was not allowing Boris to let Godfrey know Ivan wasn’t going to do what he’d asked. Ivan was looking for a way to get rid of Boris, at least to win us enough time to find you. The only way of doing that was to close the portal, and the only way of closing the portal was to be dead.”
Alice listened to the words with a sense of growing dread. “Please, no.”
“You have to face this,” Cain said. “If not, it’ll eat you alive. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about.”
She was crying harder now, guessing where it was going and not sure she could live with the knowledge. “Please, don’t.”
“Ivan needed to die so he could find and close the portal.” He added softly, “He asked me to help him.”
“No!”
“I helped him push that knife into his heart. For that, I’ll never forgive myself, but I didn’t have a choice.”
It hurt so much she thought she might fall to pieces. “Please, stop.” She covered her face again, but Cain pulled her hands away.
“He loved you. He always loved you, and he always will. He wanted you to know that.”
Sobs racked her body.
“Seeing you like this breaks my heart. If I could take it all away, I swear I would. I only hope in time you’ll forgive me.”
“If only I’d gotten away sooner—”
“No.” Cain’s voice was hard. “You won’t blame yourself, do you hear me?”
“If it wasn’t for me—”
“Godfrey would’ve found Ivan’s weakness no matter what, and he always had one.” He brushed her hair from her face. “You.”
“I can’t live with the knowledge.”
“He died for you. You owe it to him to live, not just a mediocre life but a good life.”
“Oh, Daddy…”
“I know, darling.” He pulled her against his chest. “Let it out. There’s no one here to see your pain.”
Letting go, she cried until her eyes were dry and she had nothing left to give. Cain took her upstairs and made her lie down on the bed. He pulled off her shoes and covered her with a blanket before sitting down by her side with her hand clutched in his. She stared at the ceiling, seeing nothing and feeling empty inside. When she turned her head, she caught her father in a rare moment of not having his guard up. Worry contorted his face.