Trembling, completely sapped, Max barely made it to his desk, where he dropped down in his chair and covered his face. He needed a drink, a whole fucking bottle, but was pretty sure his legs would never make it. Not to the game room where the wet bar was. Hell, he doubted he’d make it out of the fucking office.
A grimace set in, etched deep with despair. Then a groan crawled its way up his throat. Raw and ragged, like his soul was checking out, digging its own six-foot grave inside his ribs.
“Max!”
Max jerked with a curse and looked up. “Jesus, Scott. What the fuck?”
Scott glowered. “What did you do.”
Max stiffened at his tone. “I didn’t do shit.”
“Really? I just saw Sean leave. Looked like you shot him in the chest.”
Goddamn it. He couldn’t do this. Couldn’t get into this shit with Scott.
“Now’s not a good time,” he muttered. “Go away.”
Scott chuckled darkly. “I don’t think so. We’re gonna talk about this. Now.”
Max shot him an incredulous glare of his own. “Like hell we are, bro. Get the fuck out of my office.”
Scott’s jaw clenched. “You want me out of here, you’re gonna have to move me yourself.”
Max shoved to his feet, fresh adrenaline hitting his system. “Don’t fuck with me right now, Scott. I’m not in a good place.”
“Yeah, well, too fucking bad. Looks like you’re gonna have to deal.”
Max bristled and stalked out from behind his desk. “You seriously wanna pick a fucking fight with me now?”
“No,” Scott ground out. “I want to solve this fucking mess.”
“There’s nothing to solve. This fucking mess is officially over.”
Scott chuckled again, shaking his head. “No, it’s not. It’s never over. Because, hello, the fucking mess, Max, is you.”
Max’s blood shot to boiling, rocketing him toward critical. “Get out,” he grated.
“No. You need to work through this. If you don’t, it’s going to break you, for good this time. And I will not sit by and fucking watch that.”
“I told you, goddamn it, there’s nothing to work through. I’ve removed the problem. Now I just need to… recover.”
“Recover? Is that what you think you’re gonna do?”
“Yes,” Max bit out. “I always recover.”
“You never recover! That’s the whole goddamn problem! You’ve yet to recover from Kevin!”
Max seethed. “Don’t you say that fucking name.”
“I have to, Max! He’s the root of this whole freaking shit fest!”
“You don’t think I know that?! Believe me, I do!”
“But you’re directing that anger at Sean! At the wrong fucking person, Max! It’s gotta stop!”
“I’m not directing it at anyone!”
“Like hell you’re not! Sean never left you! Stop making him pay for your past! For the things that Kevin did.”
“What he did? What, you mean, how he ruined my fucking life?”
“He didn’t ruin your life, Max! His parents did!”
Max balked. “Are you crazy? Have you lost your fucking mind? Of course he ruined my life! He chose to do what he did!”
“To escape a scary-as-shit situation! He never meant to hurt you!”
“Bullshit! Bull-shit! Like hell, he never meant to! I’ve been over this a million fucking times in my head, Scott! He had to have known that what he did would destroy me! There is no fucking way he couldn’t have known!”
“He wasn’t thinking, Max! He was suffering! A terrified kid!”
“And that makes it okay? Makes it okay what he did?! Bullshit! I hate him, Scott! I hate him for what he did!”
“Hate him?! For being that fucking desperate?!”
“No! Because he was scared! And stupid! And weak!”
“Bullshit! That’s not why! That’s not a reason to fucking hate someone!”
“It is for me!”
Max tried to push past him, but Scott shoved him against a wall.
“Stop lying, Max!” He pinned Max immobile with his forearm. “Tell me! Why do you hate him?! What’s the real fucking reason?!”
Max struggled against his hold. He couldn’t do this anymore!
“BECAUSE HE DIDN’T FUCKING FIGHT FOR ME!!” he heard himself bellow. “Didn’t fight for me like I always fought for him!” Hot tears sprung from his eyes and ran down his face. “He abandoned me, Scott! Just fucking left! Didn’t even fucking say goodbye!”
Scott’s heated gaze flooded with warring emotion. “You needed him to fight for you,” he clarified tightly.
“Yes! For us!”
Scott exhaled and stepped back.
Max slumped, exhausted. That soul-deep admission just fucking leveled him.
“Max.”
Max met his gaze.
Scott shook his head, exasperated. “What the fuck do you think Sean’s been doing all this time? Fighting for you! With every fucking fiber of his being! With every fucking thing that he’s got!” His jaw ticked, his eyes flashed. “And what have you been doing? Just standing there, Max, watching him drown.”
Max’s heart stopped beating. All blood drained from his face as memories started rifling through his brain. Of all the countless times that Sean had come to him, had been there. Of all the efforts he’d made to try and connect. All his smiles and innocent playfulness. All his texts of concern that Max ignored. At the club, when he’d tried so hard to show Max a good time, then after when he’d tried to cheer him up in the cab. And then later, when he’d come to Max, bearing his feelings, his heart, wanting only for Max to admit to his, too. Or, God, when Max hurt him so viciously in his dungeon? Sean forgave him and took Max to his very favorite place.