Jaw tight as he watched Sean puffing away, Max thought back to last week’s session. When he’d finally revealed to Sean what he did. His emotions had been conflicted as the words rolled off his tongue. Part of him wanted it to scare Sean away, because for some reason, Sean felt like trouble. But the other part of him hoped with all he was that Sean would keep an open mind and not judge him. That maybe he’d even find the knowledge intriguing. That maybe he’d want to eventually know more.
To Max’s surprise, Sean took it pretty well. At first, he’d definitely seemed thrown for a loop, but he’d righted himself pretty quickly. He’d even asked a couple of questions. Nothing too involved, but that only made sense. Sean didn’t know enough to even know what to ask. That much was clear by his initial reaction. The way his whole body tensed bigger than shit. Anyone who knew even the basic BDSM fundamentals wouldn’t have been so jarred. The idea had scared Sean. At least it had initially. But then his curiosity took over. And God, how those gears had been grinding. Although, to his credit, Sean kept his questions to a minimum. Max’s orientation had been one that made the cut.
Which Max was fine with, even though he’d been curt. It was good to have things crystal clear, and Sean evidently felt the same. Came right out and said that he was gay, too. Something Max was already well aware of. But if nothing else, at least it allowed him to ask Sean some questions also. Like if his friends and family knew. Aka if Sean was a closet. And to Max’s relief, Sean wasn’t. Max really hadn’t wanted to hate the guy, but if he’d been anything like Kevin, he would’ve had to.
Sean put out his cigarette, shoved the butt in his pack, then dropped what looked like a mint into his mouth. A quick straighten of his shirt and some finger rakes through his hair, and he finally seemed ready to go. Max smiled before he could stop himself. Sean wasn’t just beautiful, he was cute. When he wasn’t being such a fucking flirt.
As Sean headed up the driveway, Max headed for the stairwell. Sean had had a full week to marinate on Max’s disclosure. Would he still be so assertive, so frisky, so playful, now that he knew Max was a Dom? It was a hard call with Sean. He surprised Max a lot.
Halfway down the stairs, Sean’s knuckles rapped. Max’s heart kicked up a notch at the sound. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that, though. He shouldn’t be so psyched to see him. But he was, and there didn’t appear to be anything he could do about it. Sean had somehow taken away that power.
And Max suddenly resented it. Resented it a lot. A feeling that’d been subtly but steadily growing with each and every encounter they had. Because each and every encounter always made Max feel lighter, which was way too close to feeling kind of happy. An emotion he didn’t particularly want to experience with Sean. Always felt reckless, to enjoy Sean like he did, and the impression was only getting stronger. With Max unable to turn the shit off. Didn’t matter that it irked him later. Didn’t matter that he didn’t want it. Sean always managed to stir shit up anyway. A situation that, as far as Max was concerned, was the same as Sean playing puppet strings with his head.
Scowling at the thought, Max tugged open the door. Right on cue, Sean happily smiled up at him. Ah, God. He looked good. Like a blue-eyed fucking angel, all glowing like the sun on Max’s stoop.
“Hey,” Sean greeted.
Max grunted and stepped back.
Sean’s smile faded fast. “You okay?”
“Yup.” Max turned and led the way. He just needed to get through one more session without doing anything stupid. He had a feeling though that Sean wouldn’t make that easy.
Reaching his studio, Max pushed open the door and bee-lined it straight for his deck. “Clothes off, ass on the table, Sean. Let’s get this shit done.”
“Okay.”
Max frowned. He didn’t like being cold, being a dick. He just couldn’t seem to balance himself with Sean. And that always turned him defensive. He tugged open a drawer, pulled out his checkbook, making sure to keep Sean at his back. As soon as their hour was over, and Sean was back to not naked, or nearly so, Max would hand Sean his money, walk him to the door, and say hasta fucking luego. Because he was pretty damn sure this hour would end just like the others, with Max not wanting Sean to go. Wishing that the time hadn’t gone so fast, tempted to invite Sean to stay. Which was fucking insane.