And that’s when Max felt it; the mental shift. An arctic tidal wave crashing into his soul, sweeping away the pain, leaving a void of nothingness in its wake. Max dropped like deadweight, struggling to breathe, as if the tsunami had taken his lungs, too.
He felt so cold. Oh, God. He was dying.
But then a second wave came crashing in, this one so much bigger than the first. Slamming his body with bitter betrayal, filling his empty shell with resentment. It flooded every inch, then solidified into stone, cold and angry and toxic. He could feel it beneath his skin, in the marrow of his bones. Its own steady pulse of black hatred. Max shuddered, the vicious animosity jarring. As if in some last-ditch effort, his soul had sold itself to the devil; all things beautiful giving way to all things not. As if it knew it was the only way, the only way he would ever survive. Because destitution wasn’t strong, but fury was.
All but vibrating, Max peeled open his eyes, rage coursing thick through his veins.
This was all Kevin’s fault. Every fucking bit of it.
Because he’d betrayed Max worse than anyone else ever could. Fucked him in the cruelest possible way.
Max sat up and glowered, his mind bathed in a whole new light. The light of fucking truth. The light of fucking reality.
Kevin was the root of it all.
His jaw muscle ticked. His hands fisted tight. His mind whirled furiously in his skull.
How could Kevin do this? Abandon him without a second thought? With no care for those who lay bleeding in the aftermath, for the devastation he left in his wake. They’d made plans, goddamn it. And fucking promises. Had road-mapped their lives out together. One night of turmoil with the friggin’ parents did not okay a renege. So what if the road was about to get rocky. So what if Kevin split with those assholes. Max would’ve taken care of him. Kevin knew he would. Knew Max was good on his word. But instead of toughing it out, instead of forging through, Kevin took the chicken shit route and bailed. Bailed on Max, who needed him the most. Just split. Just threw in the towel. God, he hadn’t even given it a chance. Just left Max in a million fucking pieces. Pieces he’d never be able to put back on his own. Only Kevin could do that. And Kevin was gone. Because he’d left Max like unwanted garbage. And now Max’s mom was paying for it, too.
Shoving to his feet, Max glared down at Kevin’s grave.
“I hate you, Kevin.” And he really truly did. “You’re a dick for abandoning me, but you’re also a coward. And you’re selfish. And pathetic. And weak.” He spat the last word with as much venom as he could muster, then forced out a spiteful laugh. “God, you’re even worse than your fucking parents. Shame on me for not seeing it earlier.”
His lip curled in disgust. Hate coursed through his veins. Never again would he come to this grave. Never again would he shed another tear. Not for Kevin. Not for anyone.
Max squared his shoulders and tossed a cold salute. “See you around, asshole. Rest in fucking peace.”
With that, he turned and left the cemetery, never once looking back. Time to go pack. He was leaving for college early.
After he slashed the Sanders’ tires.
FOUR
—SIX MONTHS LATER—
“Okay, Janie. Your turn. Why don’t you tell us why you’re here today?”
Max glared around the room at the dozen people sitting in a circle on fold-out chairs. Guys and girls who looked Max’s age, seeming just as happy about being there as he was. But just like him, they didn’t have a choice. It was either anger management classes or a much less appealing alternative. Getting let go from a job. Spending time in jail. Or in Max’s case, getting kicked out of school.
Max’s jaw ticked as Janie sullenly spilled her unsavory shortcomings to a bunch of complete fucking strangers. It’d be Max’s turn soon, but like hell would he be sharing. His life was none of their goddamn business. Unfortunately, that fact didn’t excuse him from having to come. Not this week, or the next nine to follow.
In truth, it was a wonder that he hadn’t landed there sooner. During the last six months of college, he’d managed to get into fights nearly every single weekend. He was a mean drunk, but wasn’t stupid, and up until now had kept it to minimal involvement with the cops. Just a couple weekends total spent in jail for disturbing the peace, which never ended up affecting class attendance.
Too bad his lucky streak had to end.
It was that cocksucker’s fault, though, all running his mouth. Messed with the wrong person on the wrong fucking day. Not that every day wasn’t the wrong day where Max was concerned. And, yeah, he was always the wrong person. But he’d been exceptionally on edge after class that evening as he’d headed out to his truck in the parking lot. The guy had called him a pussy or a dick wad or something. Shit, Max couldn’t even remember what that loser had said. All he knew was that he’d fucking exploded, with a boatload of spectators looking on. Even now, Max wasn’t exactly sure what had happened. What the guy could’ve done that was so bad. Because the thing was, Max knew that campus brawls should be avoided at all costs. He knew that but for some reason, he’d just… snapped.