The appointment starts off relatively innocuously. A physician’s assistant takes my weight, blood pressure, and asks about my last period before directing me to the restroom to collect a urine sample.
“It’s standard procedure,” she assures me as I gingerly take the plastic cup from her hand. But once the deed is done, I place my sample into a little box on the floor and then am ushered into an exam room with the requisite fluorescent lighting and vinyl table.
It’s only a few minutes before there’s a knock and Dr. Hofstra appears. My gynecologist is a kind, middle aged woman with graying hair and bifocals, and I don’t mind being open and honest with her with respect to my job and my sexual history. Needless to say, Dr. Hofstra isn’t someone who judges.
“Hi Chrissy,” she greets with a smile. “How are you?”
“I’m good.”
She glances down at her chart and looks puzzled for a moment.
“I see you’re a bit early for your annual physical. Is there something specific that brought you in today?”
I take a deep breath.
“There is. Dr. Hofstra, I have a really stupid question, and I’ve been digging on the internet for answers, which I think has just led me into a deeper hole.”
The kindly doctor sits on a stool and smiles with my folder across her lap.
“I think internet sleuthing often does that,” she chuckles. “But what can I answer for you?”
I take another deep breath before beginning my question.
“Well, I’ve been dating the same man for about three months now and he’s, well … he’s really big, if you know what I mean. He’s well-endowed and easily the largest man I’ve ever been with. I was able to fit him when we first started dating, but the last few weeks have been a challenge. It’s almost like my vagina has gotten smaller, but is that even possible? The sources on the web didn’t make sense when I tried to read up on it.”
Dr. Hofstra thinks for a moment.
“Have there been any drastic changes to your lifestyle in the last couple months?
At first I shake my head, but then stop.
“Yes, actually. Before I met Sanford I didn’t really exercise because it’s not my thing. But it’s something my man enjoys and it’s become a habit to work out with him twice a day, so I guess you could say I’ve gone from being a couch potato to pretty active actually. Plus, we have sex. A lot of it. I was having plenty of sex before because of my job, but now, it’s non-stop. Morning, noon, and night, if he has his way.”
Dr. Hofstra nods.
“I see,” she muses.
I continue to babble. “I mean, I know these changes are probably good for me. I’ve even managed to lose ten pounds and my stomach’s gotten flatter, so I guess it’s definitely a good thing. My only concern is that if working out can tighten my stomach, does that mean it could be tightening my vagina, too? Like, maybe that’s why I’m having trouble fitting my man now? Does that make sense?”
Dr. Hofstra nods.
“Certainly,” she says. “Pelvic floor exercises are great for tightening your vagina, and I’ve recommended them to women looking to tighten things up down there. So yes, squats and leg raises definitely help, and generally produce results. You’re also right on the other front too. Frequent sexual intercourse is another great vaginal workout because the involuntary contractions of orgasm help it stay toned. You are climaxing with every session of intercourse, right?”
I blush.
“Yes, absolutely. Sometimes even two to three times per romp in the hay,” I whisper.
The good doctor nods again.
“Then I’d say that these lifestyle changes likely are leading to a robust pelvic floor, and that could be the answer to your question. Is sex uncomfortable, however? There are things we can do to address that, you know.”
My face flames.
“It’s not. I can still fit Sanford, but it just feels like it takes longer and longer for him to work himself in. But anally, I think I’m still unchanged.”
Oh my God, what am I saying? Am I really revealing this to my physician? But Dr. Hofstra’s probably seen and heard everything before because she merely laughs and says, “Good for you, Chrissy. A woman should enjoy her body, and the intimacy and pleasure that it can bring. Well, let me see what else I have for you here,” she says, turning to the computer before reading something on screen. Then she shoots me a smile. “Oh and we’ve already gotten the results back from your urine sample.”
My eyes shoot up.
“Is something wrong?”
She smiles again.
“No, absolutely not. But you are pregnant, so you’ll want to start pre-natal vitamins as well as looking into birthing options. This is what you and your partner want right?”
I stare at her.
“What? Pregnant?” is my whisper.