But all I can think of is the only thing that brought us here.
The one lie I’ve been telling myself all this time.
That I feel … nothing.
Because my heart is fucking racing in my throat.
What the fuck?
No, fuck no. It’s not true. It’s not real.
I get up again and quickly spin on my heels so I don’t have to look at that pretty fucking face and her gorgeous naked body because it’ll only make me want to jump in there and devour her.
I’ve never felt anything for anyone before.
Yet …
My fists ball.
“I have to go,” I say under my breath.
“Wait!” She raises her hand, but I ignore it and storm off with sweat rolling down my back and a rock-hard dick tenting my pants.
I’ll take care of that later.
Chapter 23
Jill
* * *
Hate.
The thought sounded so easy at first. When Luca first put this ring on my finger, all I wished for was to rip it off and chuck it in the nearest ocean.
But now that I look at it in the mirror, I don’t know what to think anymore.
My heart is still beating in my throat, my body still hot from the bath.
Or maybe I’m telling myself it was the warm water that did the trick.
Because I can’t stomach the idea that I’m hot for his hands on my face and his lips on my mouth.
My finger instinctively reaches for my lips, remembering the way he kissed me so violently passionate that it still takes my breath away just thinking about it.
I didn’t know kisses could be like this.
Or that a guy like him could make me feel so confused.
I frown and look away from my own reflection, embarrassed by the girl I’ve become.
Old Jill would never allow these feelings to take over. Old Jill would’ve brushed it off as stupid hormones, just like I did when he first jumped into my room through the window and gave me my first orgasm with that same fucking knife he kills his enemies with.
I swallow away the lump in my throat.
To imagine a simple kiss could take all the bad memories away and make them feel distant. As though nothing else matters except his mouth on mine and the desperate need to—
No, don’t fucking go there, Jill. You know he isn’t right for you. He’s only using you as a plaything, as nothing but a prize he stole from the Baas family.
But then why did he say he wanted to hate me like he doesn’t already?
It doesn’t make any sense.
I pace around in my room while I wait for Luca’s return. The only rooms I’m allowed to go into are the bedroom, the bathroom, and the kitchen and living room area. All the other doors are locked. He’s also increased security around the place, so I doubt I’d be able to make a second escape.
Not that I want to try again. What happened in the warehouse scared me off.
Luca is out there right now doing some mafia business while I’m left without answers.
What did he mean when he said I don’t know him?
What is he trying to tell me?
And why do I care so much?
I sigh to myself.
He must be using my own insecurities against me to make me fall for him. That’s what he truly wants, right? My heart. It’s what he told me from the start.
And here I am, almost handing it to him on a platter because of one head-spinning kiss.
I slap myself. Hard.
“Don’t be so fucking stupid, Jill. If you’re going to give him your heart … use it as a weapon.”
A weapon. Hmm …
A devious smile forms on my lips.
I could do that.
I could definitely use my heart.
I’ll make him fall so hard he’ll never see it coming.
Luca
* * *
Hours later
* * *
“Sir, we have a problem,” Max, my guard, tells me as I’m on the phone with a potential buyer.
“One sec,” I tell him before I lower the phone and raise my brow at Max. “This better be important.”
“We’ve gotten reports from our spies around town that Van Buren’s men are moving around a lot of boxes all over the area.”
“And?”
“It’s not food,” he says, and he holds up a photo he took of the boxes.
There’s a clear firearm warning on them.
My jaw slowly lowers.
Then I bring the phone back to my ear. “We’ll have to continue this conversation another time. I will let you know when you’ll receive the delivery, and then we can talk about more.”
I exit the phone call and tuck the phone into my pants. I was on my way back home from another business meeting my father was trying to haul me to weeks ago. I only just closed the car door when Max came up to me.
“Get some men to follow them. I need all the details. Where, when, what, everything. Don’t get spotted. And call me when you know more.”