“Are you kidding me? Would it really be so bad?”
He nodded. “I mean no.” He shook his head quickly. “I don’t think it would be so bad to try. Part of you must have meant and wanted what you wrote. It was pretty loud and clear. Don’t they say that there’s more truth in jest that in truth itself?”
“I don’t think that’s how that goes. Quit trying to quote shit from our English class.”
“I’m just saying. I think there is a lot of what people really mean in jokes. They just try and soften the blow.”
“I didn’t mean it. And that’s not true. Not with me. If I want to say something, I’ll just come out and say it. And I’m saying it now. You can’t send your crazy butler dude to kidnap me. You can’t lock me here. You can’t guilt me into staying. You can’t have your mom stand out on the front lawn and cry crocodile tears. You can’t call the media and tell them that you’re engaged. No, we are not trying. It would be a disaster. I think we both know that already.”
Jesse leaned back, his stomach tightening. It wasn’t the only thing tightening. His happy stick was doing a happy dance in his pants and he had to rearrange himself again so that it wasn’t glaringly obvious.
“I don’t think we know that at all. We spent one night together. I seem to remember it being really good, but maybe you were just faking it. All four times.”
He watched Syd’s face go completely white. The term, white as a sheet, however clichéd it was, actually worked. She was whiter than sheets. Whiter than freshly bleached and starched sheets. She looked at him like she wanted to claw him or cut him. Still debating between the two options.
“And then you ran,” he had the nerve to add. “So no, I don’t know anything about any of that trying to work stuff and neither do you. The way I see it, is that we could give it a shot. We could always say we decided to break it off before the wedding. My mom would be thrilled. So would my dad. And your mom… she’d do a backflip she’d be so happy.”
Syd jumped off the couch and he was pretty sure she’d finally decided on scratching his face off. Maybe his balls. Kill two birds with one stone.
“No!” She took a step forward and waved a finger at him. “Seriously. No. You do not get to go there. Not with all of our parents.”
“The press would eat it up. Everyone would be so happy for us.”
“They would be insanely jealous of me. They’d crucify me and pick me apart. There’s a difference.”
“So, you’ve thought about it?”
“No! I haven’t thought about it! Are you crazy? This isn’t happening. Now, I’ve done my duty and come here. Do yours and let me go home. Now. Right now.” She stamped her foot for emphasis, and he couldn’t help it.
He laughed.
He hadn’t seen Syd throw a fit since she was nine years old.
Her tantrum was cut short when her phone went off, buzzing loudly in the pocket of her jeans. Her too tight jeans that he tried very hard not to appreciate just like he tried not to notice that her ass was complete and utter perfection in them, outlined like a ripe peach.
Her hand whipped her phone out and she studied the screen for a second before she answered. Jesse could hear the voice drifting out, nearly frantic, but with excitement, not worry.
“Honey! Turn on the TV! There’s a crazy story about you being engaged to Jesse and it must be true because you’re there with him in Philly! Oh my god, why didn’t you tell me that you’ve been secretly dating? All this time?”
“Mom…” Sydney took a steadying breath. “We’re not engaged. Don’t believe the TV. That’s all lies. We were ambushed. We are definitely not engaged. We are not together. Now or ever. We are certainly never going to be married. In fact, I’ve been kidnapped. That’s why I’m here. Jesse had his bastard butler kidnap me and fly me across the country and I’m here in his house because we had to run in here to escape the stupid media and now he’s refusing to let me go back home, so technically, I’ve been kidnapped. You need to call the police not sit there sounding like this is the best thing that ever happened to you.”
“But honey, this is the best thing that happened to me! You never go on any dates and now I know why! I can finally sit back and stop worrying about you! Oh goodness! How romantic. Jesse. You always were so good together. I just know this is going to work out.”
“Mom,” Sydney groaned. “This is not going to work out. Didn’t you hear anything I said?”