Apparently, it could because Ross’ mom sunk into the matching leather chair across the way and began to fan herself frantically with her hand. “Oh lordy. I think I’m going to pass out,” she moaned.
“No, mom! Don’t pass out!” Ross was suddenly there, his naked chest glistening with sweat, his shoulders heaving up and down.
Teela was ashamed to admit that a puddle of lust shot straight to her va-jay looking at the acres of chiseled muscle and the smattering of dark hair that trailed into Ross’ jeans.
She covered her face with her hands as Ross began to rapidly fan his mother with his hand as well. “Oh god, I think she saw my box,” she muttered.
“Here.” Ross’ dad joined the fray. He had a glass of water in his hand, which he passed over to his wife. She took it and drained the whole thing.
“Uh- mom, dad… I didn’t want you to find out like this, but- well- I wasn’t thinking, and I’ve already blurted it. Teela is- well- you’re going to be grandparents.”
Ross’ mom’s face went completely white while his dad echoed pretty much the same shade of ghostly pale. If Ross’ mom was petite and tiny, Ross’ dad was huge. It was easy to see where Ross got his height and broad shoulders from. His dad had the same strong features as well, that square jawline and brow, the straight nose and carved cheekbones.
“We haven’t been together long,” Ross rushed on. “It was a surprise to us both, that’s why I haven’t told you yet. We were trying to think of a way to tell you and- er… we didn’t get that far.”
“You could have burned down the neighborhood!” Ross’ dad muttered.
“Oh Hank,” Ross’ mom said. “Don’t be so hard on them. Remember what it was like to be young and in love?” She clapped her hands together and the stars in her eyes were already obvious. “A baby! Did you hear that! I’m going to be a grandmother!” The whole walking in on them having sex, fainting spell forgotten, she stood up and lunged towards Teela.
Teela barely had time to get her arms out before she was crushed into surprisingly strong arms. She was rocked back and forth and nearly smothered until Ross finally pried his mom away.
“Mom! Just let- uh- give Teela a minute. I- er… this is really just- a lot.” He ran a hand through his hair, which was already sticking up at all angles from where she’d just raked through it with her fingers.
“I’m sorry!” Ross’ mom stepped back. “I’m Mary-Anne. This is Hank.”
“And they were just on their way out,” Ross ground out.
“We just stopped in because I made muffins and I thought you’d like them, but then we smelled burning and rushed in.”
“That would explain why I didn’t hear you knock.”
“It was an emergency!” Mary-Anne huffed. “We thought the place was on fire.”
“It kind of was,” Teela muttered. She couldn’t look anyone in the eye. She wanted to know how much of her box Ross’ mom had seen. Nothing like making a first impression. Not a good one, just a first one.
Ross huffed. “I’ll take the muffins. Thank you very much. We can talk about this tonight.”
“You should bring Teela over for dinner! Tomorrow night!” Mary-Anne glanced enthusiastically her way and Teela wanted to bury her face in her hands again. She’d probably never be able to look either of Ross’ parents in the eye again.
“Mom, seriously, I…”
“Please, Ross! A baby! Oh my goodness sakes, I’ve wanted to be a grandmother for years and it’s finally happening! How are you feeling dear? Have you been sick? How far along are you?”
“Mom!” Ross sighed. “Maybe we’ll come over for dinner and we can talk about this. Okay? Tomorrow or some other night. I’ll talk to Teela and I’ll let you know.”
“Oh, um, alright.” Mary-Anne’s face was so crestfallen, mortified or not, Teela couldn’t help herself.
“We’ll come tomorrow,” she assured Mary-Anne. “I’m okay with that. It’s very exciting.”
Ross’ dad made a noise low in his throat. He stood and lovingly ushered Ross’ mom from the room. Teela could hear them at the entrance before they let themselves out, Mary-Anne babbling on excitedly.
When they were gone, the room lapsed into awkward silence.
“So?” Ross finally raised a brow. “Can I interest you in takeout? The Vietnamese place down the street is good and it would probably only take them twenty minutes to deliver.”
“Do they serve up a magic dish that I can eat that will make me brave enough to face your parents again? Or better yet, maybe they make something magical that we can have delivered over to their house that will make them unsee all the things they just saw. A unicorn that poops amnesia poops, maybe?”
Ross’s lips wavered. “For the record, they’ve forgotten all about that. The baby bombshell did it.”