“No, just a baby and a husband. I’m not giving you anything too serious.”
“Hey, one day at a time, right?”
“So your solution is not to think about it?”
“No, I think about it. Okay, I don’t really. But I am right now. I did earlier.”
“That was the source of your breakdown.”
“I’m afraid. Because I know how badly even a good person can hurt their child. I’m afraid that I’m really not good enough. I’m afraid that I can’t do it.”
“You have to get some confidence,” he said. “Because I was raised in a brothel and drug house and I’m pretty sure you’re our child’s best chance at normal.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“You’re as normal as they’re going to get, anyway.”
“Love fixes a lot of things,” she said. “Look at how you feel about your mother.”
“Love one way isn’t enough,” he said, his voice rough, the words he hated to voice more than anything out there in the open now.
“Of course she loved you, Alex,” she said. “She probably just had a hard time showing it. Like my mother.”
But his mother’s words rang in his ears. The last words she’d ever spoken to him.
You ruined all of this for me! I kept you all this time for him! And now you’ve taken him from me. He’s the only thing I love. He’s the only reason I kept you all this time! Because I knew then he would let us stay! And now he wants me to go. I have nothing left!
Me, mama. You have me.
I don’t want you, stupid boy! I never did. I would rather die than be without him.
“I’m sure that’s all it was,” he said, the words hollow, the vision of his mother making good on her threat fresh in his mind. “Everything will be fine.”
And he knew he didn’t believe any of what he’d just said.
* * *
She had to call home. It had been nearly two months since her aborted wedding, and still no one knew about her engagement to Alex, about the baby.
Ajax and Leah had gone through a lot of drama, which had resulted in Ajax calling her. That had been awkward.
But he’d only wanted to talk about Leah.
He loved her, which made Rachel feel good. About everything. Because Ajax and Leah were meant to be together, and now, now that Ajax had been able to confess his love, they were together.
And they were going to have a much better marriage than he and Rachel would have ever had.
So great for them, but now she had to cross the hurdle of her and Alex. Hiding out in his house. Taking occasional trips to Cannes together to check in on the expanding boutique.
The good thing was, it was successful, and Alana was considering opening up a second location. And Alex was advising Rachel on investing so she was looking into other businesses, as well. She was becoming a regular venture capitalist.