“You bastard. You utter bastard. I am trapped here with you. You made me love you. You presented to me the stark truth that I have no other options beyond marrying you, and now, now that you have forced me to care, you tell me that I cannot have you.”
“Don’t be silly. You can have me. You just can’t have exclusive rights on me.”
“Then I don’t want you at all.”
“You can have your distance, Zara. I will ensure that you are taken care of. I will ensure that everything you need is handled. We will keep up appearances...”
“No.”
“Yes. And make no mistake, you will still be my wife. But you do not have to live with me. You do not have to love me.”
“No. I will not be your wife. I cannot.”
Andres ground his teeth together, his expression fierce. “I promised Kairos.”
“You break every promise. You said you enjoy being beyond redemption. So you should very much like this. You should’ve known that you could not cross me without retribution. I will not be made a fool of.”
“So you would not leave when you were given to me as a gift, a thing, but you will leave now for your pride?”
“Yes.” The word fell from her lips softly, confidently. “Because I’m a different woman now than I was when I first came to you. I was afraid then. Afraid that if I left the palace, if I left your care, I would simply die out in a snowbank somewhere. Afraid to let anyone close because the loss might kill me. But I know that isn’t true now. I’m stronger than that. I will leave here, and I will make a life for myself. Because I can. I can change. I can learn. I have shown myself that. But one thing I will not do is stay for this. This humiliation. This pain.”
She turned away, her hand shaking. She swallowed hard. “I loved leaning on your strength, Andres. But I am capable of standing on my own.”
“We are getting married tomorrow,” he said, as though she hadn’t spoken. “My brother is announcing it tonight.”
“You should have thought of that before you betrayed me. I am not forgiving, Andres.” She hadn’t known that about herself. But now she did. She’d never had her heart broken before, not quite in this manner.
It turned out she was slightly vindictive. “I will not forgive you for this. Kairos and the fallout are your problem. The wedding, and what happens when I fail to appear, is your problem.”
She strode away from him, down the empty corridor, her high heels clicking on the marble, echoing in the space.
She rounded the corner, saw the two double doors that led outside and flung them open, bracing herself against the biting chill of the wind. It was snowing outside, a thick blanket of it covering the ground. She walked forward, wrapping her arms around herself, rubbing her bare skin with her hands. She could see her breath, and she became aware of a chill on her cheek.
She was crying. Tears falling down, leaving icy tracks behind. She looked back at the palace, and ahead at the blank canvas of white. She lifted up her full pink skirt and began to run through the snow as quickly as she could, her feet sinking deep into the icy cold, but she didn’t care. She slipped, falling down onto her knee, and forward, her gown billowing out around her. She stopped, letting the cold seep through. Down her skin, down to her bones.
She shivered. The physical discomfort she felt did not compare to the pain that was rioting through her chest. To the unending darkness that was threatening to destroy her.
She leaned forward, the snow freezing her exposed skin. And she didn’t care.
She knew she needed to get up. She knew she needed to run, as she had told him she would. She couldn’t just lie here and die in a snowbank; that was an old fear. But, for a moment it was tempting.
And when she felt that flicker of temptation, she stood. No, she would not fade away. She would not hide herself from pain. She would not allow for herself to be alone. Not to protect herself, not for any reason at all. She would have what she wanted. No, she couldn’t have Andres. But whether she stayed or left, that would be the case. She would not subject herself to that. And she was strong enough now to claim that for herself. To understand that she deserved it.