“Yes,” I say. “I do believe it’s time for me to go home.”
I slide inside the vehicle. Dash leans in and looks at me, his eyes burning into mine, but he says nothing. He eases back outside and shuts the door. My brittle, cold heart shatters into a million pieces. My cellphone rings with Mark’s number. I answer. “Hi.” My voice is weak, but then, my heart is broken. How can it not be?
“What are you doing?” he demands softly.
“Not what he thinks. I’m not leaving. I’ll be at work Monday morning.”
“You sure about that?”
“Yes. Very.”
“If you need help—”
“You already helped. You gave me the chance to see things bright and clear.”
“Ms. Wright—”
“Allie,” I say, thinking I’m nobody to anyone right now, not even my boss. “I’m Allie.” I disconnect.
Joseph is behind the wheel and we’re already moving. I decide to be strategic with Joseph. He’s not going to drop me at my apartment when that’s not what Dash ordered him to do. He’s going to take me to the airport. “I need to go to the hotel to pack.”
He eyes me in the mirror. “Understood.”
I sink back against the seat and start replaying the exchange with Dash. He was cold. Brutally cold. As if there had never been any warmth in him for me at all. I text Tyler: I found him. But he’s going to fight. I can’t change that. And don’t call. I’ll call you tomorrow. I can’t talk now. I just can’t. I’ll call you tomorrow.
I hit send and slide my phone into my purse.
Twenty minutes later, we arrive at the hotel and luckily Joseph promises to wait out front, as he can’t leave the SUV unattended. I hurry inside the building, racing through the lobby, a plan in place. Once I’m in our room, I quickly pack my clothes, my clothes. I leave everything Dash bought me. I wasn’t with him for gifts and fancy travel. I was with him for him, though I’m not sure I even know who that is anymore.
As soon as I have everything I need, I walk to the door, but I can’t say I don’t look back.
I do.
And I do so with tears in my eyes.
Instead of exiting the front door where Joseph will be waiting, I leave via a side exit. Now on the sidewalk, headed away from the hotel, I lug the heavy bag down the sidewalk, struggling with every bump and jolt, as if this night can’t get any suckier. Tears stain my cheeks when I finally walk into my apartment and drop the bag, sinking to the floor, my body quaking. I need to be alone. I can’t be with a man. I choose all wrong. I chose so wrong. And this time, this time, I really fell in love.
I eye the bottle of wine and force myself to my feet. I’m going to get drunk. I never get drunk, but I want to right now. I have to numb this pain. I leave my things at the door and march behind the small island—which seemed so impressive in my little apartment when I rented it, but not so much now—and fill a glass. I down several long swallows.
I have to call my mom tomorrow and tell her what’s going on. No. I have to figure out what I’m doing and I can’t do that yet. Not in this state of mind. I down the rest of the wine and refill my glass. This time I walk to my bedroom and pull back the curtains to stare at my view. A building is my view. Why did none of this feel crappy before now?
I could blame Dash, but it’s more about Nashville. I missed it. I chased a dream to New York, achieved the dream, but the dream wasn’t everything I’d hoped. I like Hawk Legal. I think I can make a difference there. And if Mark is willing, maybe I can pull my two worlds together and create one perfect one. With my mother close. With Dash close, but without him in my life.
I can’t make decisions based on a man.
Never again.
Never again.
Suddenly there’s a knock on the door, a pounding that jolts me to the point I almost spill my wine.
“Allie! Open up. I know you’re in there.”
At the sound of Dash’s voice, I tremble inside.
He’s here. He’s not at the fight club. He’s not fighting there, but as he pounds on the door and calls out my name again, “Allie!” it’s clear he is here to fight. Fine. Bring it. I’m ready for a fight.
CHAPTER SEVEN
I set my glass down, liquid splashing over the sides, the buzz of wine all too present—a mistake no doubt, but this night is filled with mistakes. Why not add yet another fight with Dash to the list? By the time I’m at the door, he’s calling out, “Allie, damn it! Open up.”