Looks like a bellhop.
I open the door. “Yeah?”
“I’m sorry,” the bellhop says.
“For what?” I wrinkle my forehead.
Then a plunge of something into my neck. Jed barks. Jed jumps on the bellboy.
And everything goes black.
35
LUKE
“What is it, Trey?” my dad asks.
I’m back home, thinking only of Katelyn, reading and re-reading her text from earlier. I don’t know how best to protect her, and I’m ready to admit I need help.
I asked Katelyn to get me an audience with Reid Wolfe, but she’s here now. In LA. Reid Wolfe can’t help either of us here.
This is on me.
“It’s…” I hand my father the phone. “The reason I came back, Dad.”
“A woman?”
“The woman.”
“Trey, you’ve had issues with women in the past.”
“I know that. And believe me, I’ve had enough therapy to realize what I did wrong. I can’t even blame the alcohol, although that was certainly part of it. I was fucked up in the head. Fucked up because of the criminal activities I got into. But in the end, it was me. All me. I can’t blame you or anyone else.”
“You were blaming me?”
“For a long time, yeah. I mean, sure, you made mistakes. I don’t mean to throw it in your face. For a long time, that’s all I wanted. To throw it in your face. Blame you and others and everyone for things that were my fault. For the decisions I made. Now I know that the only person responsible for the way my life is gone is me.”
“That’s called growing up.”
“I suppose I should’ve done it a long time ago.”
“We all grow up in our own way, son. Trust me. It took me longer than it took you.”
Trey would throw this back in his face. Would remind him of all the mistakes he made when I was younger.
But I’m no longer Trey. I’m Luke.
For the first time, I see how much I owe my father. Not only did he give me life, he gave me what by anyone’s standards would be an idyllic childhood. Sure, he made mistakes. He wasn’t there for me a lot of the time when I needed him. He took my mother for granted and mistreated her.
Looking at him now, I can see past his mistakes. He came through for me when I truly needed him. After I got shot and I was faced with a lifetime in prison.
For decisions I made. Me, not him.
“Tell me about her,” Dad says.
“She’s perfect. I never thought I could feel this way about another human being. And it’s different this time. I don’t have any need to control her, to lock her away and keep her safe. In fact…”
“What?”
“She’s not safe with me, Dad. I know that now. I can’t have her. But she’s the reason I’m back. I thought if I changed things, if I made up for what I did, I could be worthy of her. Truly deserve her. But I now know that’s not possible.”
“Anything is possible, son.”
I shake my head. “Not this. I’ve thought about it and thought about it and thought about it. Becoming worthy of her can only end in one way.”
“What way is that?”
“In my death.”
My father rubs his temples. “Trey, I want you to get the hell out of here.”
“You’re kicking me out?”
“That’s not what I mean. You need to go back to Manhattan. No, it’s too late for that now. You need to leave the country. Take refuge somewhere. You must go. Your death would kill your mother.”
My mother. I don’t want to hurt her, but my death is the only way this goes away. The only way Katelyn is safe. The only fucking way.
“Dad, I did a lot of harm. There’s more red on my ledger than I can ever erase.”
“Stop trying, Trey. Think of someone besides yourself.”
“I am thinking of someone besides myself. I’m thinking of everyone I harmed along the way. I might be able to take King down, but the only way I can do that ends in my death.”
“Please. I don’t want to lose a child. But I will survive. It’s not me you need to think about, Trey. It’s your mother.”
“I don’t want to hurt her. Hell, I don’t want to hurt you. Sure, there was a time when I did. And because of that need for harming someone, I ended up harming more people than I could ever imagine by getting into the drug business. I realize I’m lucky to be alive, Dad. What is one life compared to the countless others that will be harmed if I don’t take King down?”
“You tried. You gave it your best shot. You took some others down, and you got out of the business yourself. You’re no longer harming people.”
“You’re right. But I haven’t paid my dues.”
“What dues? Don’t you think I wish I could take back every horrible thing I’ve ever done in my life? Don’t you think everyone thinks that way as well? We all make mistakes, Trey. And some mistakes we just can’t ever fix.”