He dropped his gloved hand to cover hers, pressing her palm tight into him as he maneuvered the curves along Highway 1, wishing it was a longer ride. At least she hadn’t demanded he take her back to her cottage in Sea Haven. He didn’t believe in God or heaven, but he did believe in the devil and hell. He had the feeling he was going to be consigned right back into that place and his angel was going to be taken from him.
He backed his bike into a parking spot right in front of the house, not going around to the garage. He was afraid he would have to take her back to her house and he didn’t want to face going into the garage and trying to talk her out of leaving him. The weight in his chest was tremendous. Her sorrow. His. She stood beside the Harley holding the helmet, just looking around her at the views, at the beauty of their home. He’d chosen a paradise for them. The blue waves crashing on two sides and forest protecting them on the other two sides.
She lifted her gaze to his when she handed him the helmet. There were tears in her eyes, and his heart clenched hard.
“You know this isn’t going to work, Savage. It doesn’t matter how much we love each other. I have no doubt that you love me just as deeply as I love you. It isn’t going to work. Not like this.”
He put the helmet carefully on the seat of his bike and stepped close to her. His little angel. He pulled her into his arms and held her tight. “I know. I know it won’t work like this. We have to figure out how to make it work, Seychelle. We’re both smart, and we’re both willing to work on it. We’ll do it.”
She leaned into him, her face buried on his chest, so he couldn’t see her expression. Ordinarily he wouldn’t allow her to get away with that, but he didn’t want to see whether or not she agreed with him. She had to be willing to work things out. She felt so sad to him, as if they’d already lost.
“Let’s go inside, baby. Get comfortable. Find a place to talk.”
She stepped back and looked up at him, her eyes searching his face. He let her see him stripped naked. Raw. Vulnerable. It wasn’t a comfortable position for him, but if he was going to keep her, it was the only thing he could give her that might make her stay long enough to find a way to make it permanent.
Seychelle nodded and allowed him to take her hand. They went through the front door into the living room, and he took her straight to the coziest chairs in front of the stone fireplace. She curled up in one of the chairs facing the floor-to-ceiling window that gave them the sweeping view of the crashing waves.
“How are we going to fix this, Seychelle? Because we have to fix this.”
“Do you realize how much you’re asking of me, Savage? Did you even hear what Czar was saying to me? What he was implying? He wasn’t just saying that you might get killed, he was saying I could as well. It was a threat. A veiled one, but still a threat.”
What was he supposed to say to that? Seychelle was never going to be a threat to them, and she would never be put in that position because Savage would never allow it. “This is my fault. Czar was concerned.”
“Clearly. There’s so much more to your life than I ever understood, Savage. I just went into this relationship blind. I thought I had my eyes open, but I didn’t. I was already so in love and ready to give you anything that I didn’t stop to think who you are, what the club is, and I should have. You know me. You know everything about me. The same isn’t true about me with you. You asked me to give you my trust, and I did blindly. How is that possible now?”
Savage didn’t have an answer for that, because if she knew who he really was, she wouldn’t trust him. He didn’t like the direction this conversation was going. This was exactly what he’d feared.
“You always say you’re not a good man. I’ve heard you say that dozens of times. You even believe it, Savage.”
It was the fucking truth, but he wasn’t going to point that out to her, not now, not when he wanted to keep her and he was so close to losing her.
“I want you to tell me about your life. Your childhood. How you got the way you are. And what you’ve done that has made you not so nice and why people want to kill you. I want to know the real Savage. The man you’re very reluctant to show me. That man. Tell me about him. Tell me what you do for the club that can get us both killed.”