Was this what real families did? Did parents get up together in the wee hours of the morning and marvel at the wonder of the life they created?
His sure hadn’t. According to his siblings, his mother had done it all while their father drank himself stupid every night. Thank God, the man was in prison and out of their lives for the next eighteen months. Would he be able to keep himself from becoming the horrendous father he’d had? He sure as hell planned to try.
Would a partner help? Would having someone like Hannah by his side make that easier? Or would he destroy her and his child the way his father had? He’d never been willing to take the risk with a woman, and after years of flitting from bed to bed, he wasn’t sure he could be monogamous.
“You can’t be comfortable down there,” Hannah said after a few moments, tearing him away from his confounding thoughts.
“I’m good.” Too good. “So, I mentioned what we talked about the other day to Mickie.”
“Oh yeah? About your ideas for the rentals?”
He nodded. Nerves skittered through his stomach. He fucking hated that feeling. Putting himself out there, making himself vulnerable to criticism or ridicule. But Hannah hadn’t done either of those things when he showed her his ideas.
“Yeah, and the idea of getting a degree in landscape architecture.”
Hannah beamed. “What did she say?”
“She was blown away by my ideas.”
“Ah, I knew she would be. See! I’m so glad you showed her.” Her genuine happiness was contagious, and he found himself smiling along with her.
“She also offered to pay for the degree.”
Hannah gasped. “JP, that’s incredible. Wow. Will you take her up on it?”
After shrugging, he drew his knees up and wrapped his arms around his legs. “Dunno yet. There’s a lot to consider. More than just the money. Plus, I’m not comfortable taking that much from her. I’d feel like I’d owe her forever.”
“Hmm. I could see that, and I’d probably feel the same way, but Mickie seems like a woman who knows her mind. I don’t think she’d make the offer if she didn’t mean it or really want to help out.”
He chuckled. “That’s pretty much exactly what she said.”
“See? She’s very smart.” She glanced down at Kayla, who’d almost finished the entire bottle. “So, what are you thinking?”
With a sigh, he shook his head. “I’m starting to think I want it. It’s a little overwhelming, though. So much is changing in such a short time. My head is spinning a bit.”
“Well, you hide it well. You seem calm and like you’re handling all of this with no problem.”
He grunted. “I’m not usually one to freak out, but trust me, I’m stressed.” He should get up and take Kayla from her so she could head home. But instead, he kept talking. She was easy to talk to, and he just didn’t want to be out of her presence yet. Why? Who the hell knew? He hadn’t even kissed the woman, for Christ’s sake. All he knew was that she listened, didn’t judge, and made him feel…important.
“So, I called a guy I know who is a landscape architect and asked if I could meet him for coffee tomorrow to ask some questions.”
“JP, that’s a great idea!”
“Yeah, well, I might have to cancel. Mickie was going to watch Kayla, but she forgot she had an appointment.”
“I’ll do it!” Hannah practically shouted. Then, with a wince, she glanced down at Kayla. “Sorry, sweet girl,” she whispered. “I’d love to watch her for you. I have nothing going on tomorrow.”
“I couldn’t ask—”
“Please let me. I enjoy spending time with her. If you’re nervous about me—”
“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “That’s not it. I guess I was looking at Mickie canceling as some kind of sign I’m not meant to move forward with this.”
“Nah, that’s just fear talking.”
“Fear?” He raised an eyebrow.
Hannah laughed. “Yes, JP. Men can have fears. Even big, strong men covered in sexy tattoos.”
The rocking chair stopped moving, and her mouth moved without sound as though shocked by her own words. So she thought his tattoos were sexy.
Good to know.
It took every remaining ounce of energy he had—which admittedly wasn’t much since he was exhausted—to keep from jumping on her slipup and asking for more details. All the details. Which ones did she think were the sexiest? Did she want to see the ones hidden under his shirt? Touch them? Lick them, perhaps?
He shifted as his interested cock protested his curled-up position.
Hannah cleared her throat. “Anyway, the offer is on the table. I’ll hang with Kayla as long as you need.”
“Thank you. I think I’ll take you up on it. Shouldn’t be more than a few hours. I’m meeting him at five tomorrow evening.”
“Perfect. I’ll be here at four-thirty so you can show me where everything is.” She peered down at Kayla with a smile.