‘No… No, stay.’ He turned away from her, pouring himself another drink, she noticed worriedly, his back to her as he asked tonelessly, ‘Did you get much done this afternoon?’
‘Er…’ Now was her chance to tell him about Neville, but how could she add to whatever was already on his mind?
‘So… so.’
‘I went to see Patterson this afternoon,’ he told her abruptly. ‘He advises me to sell this place. What do you think?’
His question caught her off guard, and without thinking she replied absently, ‘I don’t see that you’ve much option. It would cost a fortune to live in.’
‘Your father managed it,’ he reminded her tersely.
Lucy didn’t need reminding that what few assets the estate had possessed which might have benefited it had been realised by her father for Oliver’s benefit. A faint tinge of guilty colour washed her skin at Saul’s bitter tone.
‘By the skin of his teeth,’ she agreed quietly.
‘So you think I should sell then?’ he asked her curtly.
He was looking at her now, his eyes glittering almost feverishly, high colour burning over his cheekbones almost as though he had a fever. He looked ill, Lucy realised worriedly, his skin beneath that hectic flush an unhealthy greyish colour.
‘Saul. What is it?’ She went towards him automatically, stopping in shock when he raised his hands as though to rebuff her.
‘You haven’t answered my question yet, Lucy,’ he told her harshly. ‘Would you advise me to sell—to get rid of this place as quickly as I can before it becomes a millstone round my neck?’
This wasn’t the time to ask him if there was some way he could raise the finance to out-manoeuvre Neville and his cronies—not while he was obviously so worried about something else.
‘You don’t need to say a word—your very silence condemns you,’ he muttered thickly. ‘God, when I think how I let you deceive me. How easily I believed.’ He swore suddenly and viciously, flinging his glass into the fireplace where it smashed into a million tiny shards.
‘Saul! Please… What is it?’
‘Saul… Please…!’ he mimicked with savage hurtfulness. ‘Please what? Take you to bed? Sell this place at a knock-down price to your precious cousin?’
He saw the shock mirrored in her eyes and laughed bitterly. ‘Oh yes, I know all about it, Lucy. I overheard the pair of you talking… or plotting, rather. You never for one moment meant a word of what you’ve said to me, did you? It was all a game, a ploy to keep me off guard? And to think I actually…’ She watched the muscles in his jaw lock, too shocked to take in what was happening. It was almost as though she was taking part in a play—something so unreal that she herself could hardly believe what was going on.
‘I saw the car and heard your voices. I was just about to come in when I heard Neville asking you for your help. You didn’t even hesitate did you, Lucy?’
His voice rippled with contempt and she shivered beneath the lash of it.
‘Saul, you don’t understand. I had to pretend to go along with Neville to discover what he was doing. How can you believe I would actually help him to injure you? Is that why you’re so angry?’ Because of what you thought you overheard?’
‘If it was all for my benefit, why haven’t you said anything?’ he asked her curtly.
Exasperation and pain twisted inside her. ‘Because I thought you already had enough on your mind… because I was worried that you might have had bad news from home and I didn’t want to add to it. I was going to tell you, Saul, you must believe that.’ For the first time she allowed panic to invade her voice. ‘I was going to ask you if it might be possible for you to raise enough interest and funds among your father’s business acquaintances to develop the house along the lines Neville was planning yourself. Saul, please, you must believe me.’
He looked at her bleakly and then demanded, ‘Why?’
‘Because I love you.’
It took all her courage to say it, but she sensed that her words had got through to him. He watched for several minutes, studying her as though weighing up one set of facts against another. She could understand him feeling angry and betrayed if he had only caught the tail part of her conversation with Neville—as he must have done; and what had happened in the past must have only reinforced that feeling of betrayal, but surely he must realise how she felt about him. It hurt her that he should so easily believe her capable of deceit and she was forced to recognise how little they really knew of one another as people.