He nodded and let out a long breath. “Feels weird pushing back against Carmine. I never did it before. I always assumed he knew what he was doing.”
“Things change, I guess.”
“Guess so.”
“Come on.” I got on my toes and kissed his lips. It was a risk, but I didn’t care. If Carmine was watching, let him see.
He smiled and crushed his mouth against mine. We held that kiss for a long time before we broke apart. My cheeks tingled and I could barely breathe. Mal looked at me like he’d never seen something so perfect in his life and it made my heart swell.
“Let’s go back in,” he whispered and tugged me along.
I followed. Carmine was still out back staring at the maps. He nodded when we returned to our seats and shoved the bottle at Mal. “No hard feelings?” he asked, glancing at me.
“None,” I said.
“Good.” He nodded and put a hand down on the map. “We’re going to war, and I need you two. No more fighting.”
“No more fighting,” Mal echoed, looking at me.
I smiled at him. “No more fighting,” I said.
Chapter 32
Capri
We fell into a rhythm and for a while, life felt strained and uncertain.
The cartel guys came and went. Some days they slept in twos and threes down in the living room, and other days they didn’t show up at all. Whenever I asked, Carmine always assured me they were busy. Mal said he had no clue what they were up to, and I didn’t care enough to press.
Some part of me hoped we’d drift into our old habits back when we were all close, but the tension remained. Carmine was quiet and spent all his time poring over maps and discussing strategy with Mal. There was a distinct lack of energy, like before my father took over the family, life was easy and exciting—but now, everything was death and violence.
“You know, I’m really sorry about your parents,” I said a few nights into our stay in that house. “I don’t think I said that yet. But they were really nice people. They made me feel like a part of the family.”
Carmine’s smile was tight. He lit a cigar and puffed on it contemplatively as we sat out back and watched the stars. “You know what my dad said about you?”
“I have no clue.”
“He said you were like your father, but better.” He laughed bitterly. “I think my old man knew your father was a snake from the start.”
“But he didn’t think I was?”
“No, not at all. They both loved you, Cap.”
“I loved them too. I really miss the way things used to be, you know?”
He glanced at me and took a long pull on the cigar. The cherry gave his face an eerie glow. “Are you sure about that?”
I wasn’t sure, but I didn’t say so.
Mal was a constant presence. We kept apart as best we could during the day when Carmine might see, but Mal was always around, always nearby, like a guard dog stalking the perimeter of a camp. He watched me, although I couldn’t tell what he was looking for.
And I didn’t care. Because whenever there was a free moment, when Carmine was busy on the phone or doing something else, Mal would pull me into an empty room, or into a dark corner, and he’d put his hands on my body.
“Are you sure we should do this?” His lips brushed against my throat.
“I’m not stopping,” he whispered as he pushed me against the wall. We were alone in the living room while Carmine was out back with Jasper and Iago getting a status report.
I shivered with delight when he crushed his mouth against mine. It was stupid to take such a bold risk but I couldn’t help myself. I craved Mal like nothing I’d ever wanted before, and he came to me like a thirsty man begging for water. He crushed his hips against mine and I felt the hard swell between his legs, and I sucked in a sharp, excited breath as his hand drifted down my breasts and toward the hem of my shorts.
“Easy,” I said, whimpering when he put his fingers down the front of my panties and teased apart my pussy. I was soaking wet and terrified Carmine would walk in at any second. “I don’t want to get caught.”
“And I don’t want to stop.” He crushed my mouth with his and teased my clit. I moaned into his lips. “It’s killing me, Cap. You’re around but I can’t take what I want, and it’s killing me.”
“Try to control yourself.” I gasped, head tilted back.
“No, I’d rather not.” His fingers slipped inside, stroking in and out, bursting pleasure all through my body.
I wanted him. I needed him so badly it hurt. I gripped his muscular arms and stared into his eyes and wished he could bend me over, then and there, and fuck me until I screamed his name. Mal was the only good thing right now, and I felt the same way—it killed me that I couldn’t have him whenever I wanted.