nd said, “I have perhaps been remiss in my duties in that respect. As the perfect gentleman, Mr Dalgleish, I’m sure you’ll manage this discussion in a manner that is elucidating and helpful, while perfectly delicate, to all of us. Pray continue.”
Harry nodded, and said quite briskly, “Thank you, ma’am,” before his tone gentled. He approached her with a few careful steps, then took Lizzy’s hands in his. “Lizzy, when I kissed you beneath the mistletoe the other night, you did not dislike it, did you?”
After a slight hesitation, Lizzy shook her head.
“No, that was the impression I gained, and it was why Lady Quamby took it upon herself to take you to meet me at the folly where we could have some privacy. You were weighing up whether to say yes to my marriage proposal, after all, and a measure of privacy between two parties intending to wed is not unreasonable, is it?”
“Most necessary, I’d have thought,” Mrs Hodge interjected.
Lizzy was lost for words. She merely acquiesced when Harry asked the question of her once more.
“And when I kissed you some more, Lizzy, you didn’t object, did you?”
Lizzy bit her lip. No, she hadn’t. Again, she shook her head.
“And you let me kiss you for a very long time, didn’t you?”
Lizzy wrinkled her brow. How had it all started? She’d found herself in near darkness after Lady Quamby had closed the door behind her. Then she’d felt Harry’s arms wrap around her. She hadn’t objected, of course. She wanted to learn more.
And then he’d kissed her, and she hadn’t objected then, either.
“You didn’t object when I kissed you, did you, Lizzy?” His tone was a touch sharper as he repeated the question, and it caused Lizzy to jerk into awareness and shake her head, just as he said, “Answer me, please. My reputation as a gentleman is under scrutiny, and I am anxious that my honour is upheld. You didn’t object when I kissed you? No, you did not. To the contrary, your enthusiasm…” he cleared his throat, before adding, “rather escalated. Please, think back to the very recent past. Would you not say that after I began to kiss you, that your enthusiasm increased?”
Lizzy swallowed, and nodded. “Perhaps, but—”
“And so I took it as a sign that you were very desirous that I continue to show you what a woman who is about to be married would expect once she is married. Out of love and concern for you, I wanted you to know exactly what you were saying yes to when I asked you to marry me.”
“I have great faith in your gentlemanly conduct, Mr Dalgleish, and am well aware of Lizzy’s propensity for overplaying a situation.” Mrs Hodge nodded. “If only more young men showed such consideration as you, Mr Dalgleish, for I have the utmost faith that you in no way overstepped propriety. Lizzy, however, is renowned for her hoydenish behaviour and frequent unbecoming conduct. I don’t wonder she got carried away before collapsing in a fit of hysterics. Now, Lizzy, I want you to apologise to Mr Dalgleish for causing such trouble between him and Mr McAlister. I’ve no doubt you egged on the two men purely for your own self-aggrandisement.”
Harry put a comforting hand on Lizzy’s shoulder and sent Mrs Hodge a sorrowful look. “Now, I wouldn’t go so far as to say that, Mrs Hodge. Lizzy is very young and there is so much she doesn’t understand—”
“And there are many brutes who know nothing of how to be a good husband—”
“Fortunately, Mrs Hodge, I am not one of them,” Harry said warmly, and Lizzy closed her eyes a moment and tried to reconcile her disordered feelings with the calm and good sense he was apparently speaking. How could she explain that while everything had started off well enough, they finished in a way she had not liked at all?
“Please say something, Lizzy,” Harry said softly, tilting her face upwards and looking down at her with soulful eyes. “I really didn’t mean to frighten you. You are a dear, precious girl, and I’d give the world to make you happy.”
Lizzy met his look with no emotion. However, there was expectation in his expression and the appearance that he truly believed he hadn’t pushed past a point he should not have.
But she couldn’t say that, could she? Not in front of Mrs Hodge. Not now, when she couldn’t put into words what had happened. Harry made it sound so trivial. She glanced between the pair of them and battled with the urge to make one final protest. But as she confronted Mrs Hodge’s hard, unyielding expression, and the warmth of Harry’s, a small kernel of self-preservation whispered in her ear that there really was only one way to respond; and that was to yield to those who held the power.
She was a woman, after all.
“Harry, I…I’m sorry—” She stopped suddenly. She’d been going to say she was sorry to have offended him, but she wasn’t at all. Some of her fighting spirit returned, and she pushed out her chest and said as boldly as she dared, “I’m sorry if I gave the impression I liked it—”
“Are you now telling me you didn’t?” He sounded surprised. “I wish you had made that clear. I wish you’d given me some indication. Did you tell me to stop?”
“Yes…I’m not sure…but…I must have!”
“You’re not sure, Lizzy?” Mrs Hodge reared up in her seat, adding sharply, “How is any young man to know what to do if a young lady doesn’t make it clear she does not wish him to continue what he’s doing? Goodness, girl, I’d have thought it quite apparent. You don’t step knowingly into darkened bedchambers or wherever your clandestine meeting was held and throw yourself into a man’s arms and let him kiss you, if you aren’t prepared for the consequences.”
“It’s all part of marriage, Lizzy.”
Lizzy stared at Harry while her insides recoiled with confusion and revulsion. She thought of the magical feelings that had coursed through her when Theo had kissed her. She blushed at the wicked recollection of seeing Angelo in Lady Quamby’s bedchamber and wondering at the time whether Theo was as well built.
And she had wondered, many times, what happened after that.
It was part of the reason she’d not been entirely averse to meeting with Harry alone; so she could discover more of those mysteries between men and women that were part of marriage.