“I did,” Santiago said. “And then I didn’t.”
“That doesn’t even make sense,” Paul muttered, but Santiago ignored him, focusing on Vince. “You’re not mysterious.”
“I am so mysterious.”
“For fuck’s sake, you just—”
“Hello, Vincent,” Santiago said, cocking his hip and oozing sex. “How lovely it is to see you again. I see your biceps are just as exponential as always. Tell me, what are your thoughts about using them to pin a smaller man to a bed? Good, I hope.”
“Hi, Santiago,” Vince said. “We’re going to need a while before we order.”
“Is that so?” he asked, eyes going big. “Maybe I should just stay here with you to see if you have any questions on the menu. Today’s special is garlic beef enchiladas wrapped in freshly prepared corn tortillas topped with a garden pico de gallo. Also, I get off at ten tonight if you’d also like to get off. At ten. Tonight.”
“We’re engaged,” Paul growled.
Santiago grimaced. “That’s disappointing. Such a waste. How wonderful for the both of you. Make sure you sign a prenup, Vincent. You don’t want your accountant to swindle you.”
Vince shrugged. “I don’t even know what that is. I just want to be married to Paul. I’ll sign anything he wants as long as we get married.”
“Ow,” Corey moaned. “That hit me right in my feelings, oh my god.”
“Indeed,” Santiago said. “Well, I guess I can come and be the pool boy. You’ll need one. I have this little Speedo thing that I’m told I look just adorable in that barely covers anything. Maybe I could show you sometime?”
“I will throw acid on you,” Paul said. “Like, on your whole face and everything.”
“So violent.” Santiago frowned. “Are you sure you’re safe with him, Vincent? I’d hate to think that you’re being abused.”
“The only time Paul hits me is when he spanks my ass after I’ve been a bad boy,” Vince said easily. “But that usually leads to sex face, so I’m good with it.”
“Ew,” Darren and I both said at the same time.
“Gross,” Corey said, staring at Darren and me. “They’re already saying the same things at the same time. You guys are going to be disgusting together.”
“You spank him?” I asked Paul, trying to reconcile Dom Paul with the Paul I saw in front of me.
Paul shrugged. “Only when he asks for it.”
“I ask for it all the time,” Vince whispered loudly.
“Drink orders,” Santiago said. “Before this turns into an orgy where everyone but Vincent leaves.”
“That’s not an orgy. That’s a—”
“Vincent? What would you like to drink?”
“I’ll have a mango margarita, salt on the rim.”
“One mango margarita for mi corazón. Father accountant? We don’t make drinks out of bread and butter. I suppose I could bring you a gravy boat if you’d like.”
“You bitch. I’ll have the same as Vincent.”
“One Diet Coke, hold the ice, you got it, good life choice. Should I point out the heart-healthy items on the menu? You look like you have a high sodium intake.”
“Santiago,” Vince said. “You sure you can still be a waiter? You messed up the drink order last time too. And made mine really, really strong.”
“That’s because he wants to date rape your face, dear,” Paul said.
“This much is true,” Santiago said with no shame whatsoever.