He took a step toward me now, slowly and cautiously, which, honestly, was slightly ridiculous, given the fact that he licked my asshole an hour before in public. I almost laughed at him, unable to keep down this giddy feeling that was burning through me. There was still much I had to say to him, things I needed to know. And I thought there was a very real chance I might get to hear it, if I could simply get over my hang-ups and just ask.
“The money,” Darren said. “It was all about the money. Caleb invented this app for iPhones that stores burrito recipes or solves world hunger. Or something. I don’t really know. All that mattered was that he is rich and wanted me to fuck him. I corrected the second thing while asking for the first. I know
that there’s a very real chance that my dad will beat us, but I wanted to make sure I did what I could to help you save this place. I know what it means to you. I know it belongs to you just as much as it did Vaguyna, and I didn’t want to see you lose that.”
I took in a sharp breath.
“And I told him to bid on me,” he continued. “For as much as he could. I agreed to go on a date with him, and yes, he tried to make it more, but I shut that down. Quickly. He knows where I belong. And who I belong with.”
It made sense. It was an easy explanation. And as much as I wanted to push him on it, I didn’t have the strength to do so anymore. I was tired of fighting against what I wanted. I was tired of lying. Telling myself I didn’t feel the way I did about him. Telling him I hated him. And worse, acting like I did.
“Mike said something to me,” I said, and Darren was right behind me. I could see his hands twitching at his sides, like he wanted to reach out and touch me but couldn’t quite get himself to do so.
“What did he say?”
“He said you were always here. At every one of my shows.”
He blushed, and it was probably the most adorable thing I’d ever seen. “I was. I am.” He coughed and scratched the back of his neck. “I will be.”
“I’m not her,” I said quietly, watching his reaction in the mirror. “Not all the time. Not even most of the time. I can’t be Helena. It takes too much out of me.”
He finally met my gaze, looking confused. “Why would I….” He shook his head. “You’re a fucking idiot.”
“Hey!” I said, glaring at him. “What the fuck! You’re supposed to be wooing me.”
He rolled his eyes. “You already said you were wooed when I ate you out behind Poco’s.”
“Wow, that’s not a sentence I ever expected to hear anyone say to me,” I marveled.
Darren grinned. “I aim to please.”
“There has to be continuous wooing,” I said. “You should know right now that I am high-maintenance, and I have absolutely no plans in changing that.”
“Really,” he said dryly. “I couldn’t have guessed that just by looking at you.”
“Rude,” I said. “But true. Now, let’s go back to the part where you were trying to get into my pants and you thought it was a good idea to insult me. And then we’ll talk about how there will be an unexpected fisting in your future if you try that again.”
“Unexpected fisting?” he asked, eyebrows climbing almost to his hairline. “What the hell is that?”
“Um, it’s pretty self-explanatory. One day you’re going to get fisted. Unexpectedly. Get with the program, Mayne.”
“How are you even going to pull off unexpect—you know what? I don’t even want to know.”
I smiled sweetly at him. “That’s a good boy. Now tell me more how I’m a fucking idiot.”
He reached down and rested his hands on my shoulders, squeezing lightly before he turned me around on the stool slowly until I was eye level with his crotch. I really wasn’t complaining. I thought about pressing my face against him, just to see what would happen, but I was more curious as to what he intended to do. He stood above me, looking down, a strange expression on his face before he reached behind me and grabbed the makeup wipes. He pulled another stool over and set it in front of me. He sat on it so we were face to face.
I was nervous, unsure what was happening, and I opened my mouth to say something sarcastic or biting, but I swallowed it away at the intensity on his face. He was focused, but on what I couldn’t yet say.
He put the package of wipes in his mouth, holding them in place with his teeth. Our knees knocked together, my bare skin against his denim-clad. It was rough, but it grounded me, making the moment less surreal.
Because here was a man, for all intents and purposes a selfish man, watching me like I might be the greatest thing in the world.
He reached for me, and I didn’t even think to flinch. He grabbed the edges of my stool and pulled me slowly toward him, spreading his legs wide to accommodate both of mine between. We were close now, almost unbearably so.
He took the wipes from his mouth and set them in his lap.
He said, “You think that I would only want you when you’re Helena.”