“Oh sweat balls,” Paul said. “That actually makes a shitload of sense.”
“Today is the greatest day ever,” Corey said to no one in particular.
I blinked up at the ceiling.
Moments later, three faces came into view.
“You okay down there?” Paul asked.
“Is he twitching?” Corey whispered to Vince.
“Maybe he’s just gassy,” Vince whispered back.
“System… crash… imminent,” I breathed. “Restoring… to… factory settings.”
“Oh boy,” Paul said.
Wheels, having woken up but not yet had his cart attached, pulled himself along the ground until he could reach me. He grinned that doggy grin and then proceeded to sneeze in my face. He made up for it by licking it back up off my cheeks.
Eventually, Paul helped me sit back up on the chair. “You okay?”
“I don’t know that I am,” I said, sounding slightly hysterical.
“You’re allowed not to be.” He squeezed my shoulder. “It’s not every day that you find out you’re in love with someone.”
“What?” I wheezed. “I thought we were talking about him!”
“Uh,” Paul said. “Sure. That’s what I meant.”
“We can’t talk about me!”
“Of course not.”
“We’re not even close to talking about me!”
“Wow,” Corey said. “I didn’t know a man could go up that many octaves in the space of a single breath. Color me impressed.”
“He sounds like a kangaroo trying to sing an opera,” Vince said.
“How is rule ten that he loves me!” I bellowed. “That motherfucking asshole. How dare he love me and not even tell me!”
“Yeah,” Corey said. “If this is the reaction he was going to get, I totally can’t see why he didn’t tell you.”
“I brought you into this world,” I threatened. “And I can sure as shit take you out of it.”
Corey snorted. “You’re too white to be my mom.”
“Oh snap,” Vince said as he fist-bumped Corey.
In a last ditch effort to save my sanity, I asked, “Then why is Darren all up on that twink?”
“Do we know that that’s the case?” Paul asked. “It sounds to me like there’s just a bunch of assumptions going on here. This whole thing might not be what you think it is.”
“You’re right,” I said. “You’re absolutely right. And there is only one way to clear this up.”
Vince looked relieved. “You’re going to talk to him about this like a mature and responsible adult.”
“What?” I said. “Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous. We’re going to find out where he’s going on his date with Caleb, and we’re going to follow and spy on them.”