“Brian!” I all but shouted. “I need to do you!”
And that was the second time conversation died all around us.
Brian blushed horribly.
“Not like that,” I snapped at all of them even as Darren’s nipples pressed against my arm. “I meant his makeup. God. Get your minds out of the gutter.”
“How many people have you slept with in this room?” Summer asked.
I was going to murder that little queen.
Sofonda must have seen Helena rage in my eyes, because she grabbed Summer by the arm and yanked her toward the other side of the room. “You seem like you got a death wish,” she hissed at Summer.
“What?” Summer said. “It was just a question. So she drops her panties for the homo jocks. I want to drop my panties for the homo jocks.”
“I’m going to drop your face with my foot,” I snarled after her. Once I was sure she was far enough away that I couldn’t reach for her to wring her fucking neck, I looked back at Georgia and Crystal. “I want her dead by sunrise.”
“We’ll get right on that,” Crystal said, patting my hand.
“They won’t ever find her remains,” Georgia said.
“Um,” Brian said as he came to stand next to us. “Are you being serious right now?”
“Mostly.” Crystal’s smile was all teeth.
Darren was still plastered against my side. He was eyeing Brian with barely disguised contempt. Brian, bless his heart, noticed this almost right away and was trying to maintain a safe amount of distance between us.
Since I had a job to do that didn’t include having a hot man-leech stuck to my side, I shoved Darren away, making sure to not let my touch linger on his skin, even though I was pretty sure he moisturized and felt amazing. “Go stand against the wall with your subjects. I’m busy and I can’t have you distracting me.”
He turned off the glare and smirked at me. “And why am I distracting you?”
“It has nothing to do with your nipples,” I said, even though I meant to say something completely different.
“You say that, but I think you mean the opposite,” he said, and without any hint of shame whatsoever, rubbed his hands up his stomach to his chest slooowly. And just when I thought he couldn’t be any more of an asshole, he tweaked his own fucking nipple, a savage twist that caused his breath to hitch in his chest.
The squeak I made was a terrible thing.
I didn’t know what the fuck he thought he was doing, but if his plan was for me to simultaneously pop a boner and wish for his death, then he succeeded admirably. I turned away from him and grabbed Brian, dragging him toward my vanity. Darren was chuckling behind us, a heady sound that did nothing to help my current situation. I tried to think of gross things like Mike and dead goats, bec
ause I was going to have to tuck at some point in the near future. It almost worked.
Brian looked adorably confused as I shoved him down on a chair in front of the vanity. I switched on the vanity light and tried to regain my focus. I had a job to do, and no one, not even Darren Mayne and his Nipples of Doom, would distract me from it.
“Okay,” I said, clapping my hands together. “Time to make you look like a sexy geisha.”
Brian frowned. “I don’t know what that is. Well, I know what sexy is. But I don’t know the geisha part. Is that a Transformer? Are you making me a sexy Transformer?”
“No, Brian. I’m not making you a sexy Transformer.”
“Oh.” His face scrunched up. “That would have been cool.”
“Brian,” I said, struggling to maintain my composure. “Transformers aren’t sexy.”
“Bumblebee is,” he said.
“Brian,” I said, struggling to not slam his head into the vanity. “Transformers aren’t drag.”
“Right.” His eyes lit up and he grinned at me in the mirror. “My bad. What’s a geisha?”