“It’s scary how easily she fell into Nana’s clutches,” Darren said. He reached down and scratched along the dog’s chin. If he were able, I’m sure Wheels would have popped a boner because it apparently felt that good. Thank god he didn’t have balls anymore.
“She fits,” I said. “I don’t know if I should be offended that you were so worried about introducing her to the rest of us.”
“I wasn’t worried.”
“Kind of worried.”
“Not worried at all.”
“There was a little bit of worry.”
“Oh look,” Charlie said. “The football game is on. Let’s watch that instead of doing whatever it is you’re doing.”
Properly chastened, we were quiet.
For a few minutes.
“But seriously,” I said. “You don’t have anything to worry about.”
“No, don’t touch that!” Nana shouted from her room. “You’re not ready for how much it vibrates.”
“Okay,” I said. “Maybe just a little bit of worry. I hope your mom is not easily offended. But then, she did raise you, so I’m sure that’s not the case.”
Darren narrowed his eyes at me. “Was that a compliment or an insult?”
“Huh,” I said. “I guess it could be either or. Take it how you will.”
“That was nice of you.”
“I meant it the other way.”
“Fuck you.”
“Seriously,” Charlie said. “Still trying to watch football here. If you’re going to flirt, go do it outside where it belongs. Because honestly, it’s sweet, but it’s also rather disgusting to hear.”
We both flushed and avoided looking at each other. Which, you know, was hard, given that I was all but plastered to his side while we both rubbed a dog.
That sounded weird.
But I supposed the truth often did.
We lasted four more minutes.
“What if your mom and Nana fall in love?” I asked, because they still hadn’t come out of her room.
Darren snorted. “I don’t think we’ll have to worry about that.”
“You don’t know,” I said. “We might. Then there will be yet another wedding I have to plan. I just don’t know if I have time for it, given my jet-set lifestyle.”
“I don’t think you understand what that means.”
“Bullshit I don’t. I’m worldly. I just haven’t traveled the world yet.”
“Then how can you be—”
“I read, okay? You can—”
“Cosmo doesn’t count,” he said, and I didn’t even mind when he stretched his arm back on the couch, his fingers pressing lightly on my shoulder. And if I lay against his shoulder a little bit, well. It was just because my head was heavy and I needed to rest my neck.