I wondered if we should call this whole thing off.
I wondered if we should have started this at all.
I fixed the smile on my face as the DJ called me back out for the finale, all the queens smiling and laughing as we performed Sister Sledge’s “We Are Family.” We danced and lip-synched and the liquor flowed and everything was fine, everything was going to be just fine.
The song ended and everyone cheered as the lights flashed. I told myself I would get past this just like I’d gotten past every other disappointment in my life. With grace, tact, and a healthy serving of bitchiness.
“ARE YOU sure you’re okay?” Paul asked as I sat in front of my vanity, sliding the wig off and placing it on the mannequin head. The music was blaring downstairs as the dance floor filled. The bass reverberated up the walls and made my skin crawl.
The smile was still fixed on my face as I said, “I’m fine, baby doll. Where’s your better half?”
Paul frowned. “Downstairs, talking to Darren.”
“Ah. Brotherly bonding.”
“More like brotherly fighting.”
I arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow at Paul. “Fighting?”
“Darren’s being a dick.”
“Well, yes. But that’s who he is. We’ve known that for years.”
“But you’re being one too.”
“Well, yes. But that’s who I am. We’ve known that for years.”
“I don’t understand the two of you,” Paul admitted. “I don’t know that it’s possible for anyone to understand you both.”
“We are confusing creatures,” I agreed.
“Bullshit,” Charlie said, sliding his camera back into his bag. “You’re stupid, is what you are. Both of you. And until you realize that, you’re just going to keep being stupid and nothing will ever change. And God knows the rest of us are going to be the ones to suffer for it.”
I rolled my eyes. “No one is doing any suffering.”
Charlie snorted. “Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart. Because obviously you still don’t think I know queens. You still don’t think I know you. Even after all this time, you think that. And if you think that, then I don’t know what I can do to help you.”
“I don’t need help,” I said, trying to keep from sounding snappish. I didn’t know how successful I was. “I’ve got everything under control. I always have everything under control.”
“I don’t think even you believe that,” Charlie said. “But what do I know? I’m just an old man with almost eight decades of life experience. I’ll see you on Saturday.” And then he was gone. I was almost proud of Charlie for making a bitchy-diva dramatic exit complete with the last word, but I was a little heart-stung that Charlie of all people was upset with me.
“What the hell was that about?” Paul demanded as soon as Charlie had closed the door behind him.
“Just the dispensing of advice,” I muttered.
“For what?”
“It doesn’t matter, baby doll.”
“What are you doing?” he asked, catching my gaze in the mirror.
I sighed, but didn’t look away. “I wish I knew.”
“You care about him. I know you do. I see the way you look at him.”
“Yes.”
“And he cares about you.”