Paul sighed. “I almost did.”
“Good. I’m good. I’m fantastic at being humble.”
“You put the moron in oxymoron.”
“Ooh,” I moaned. “Your wordplay makes me horny.”
“And you’re not going to break up.”
“You don’t know that. He could cheat on me with a twink named Duke or Mateo or whatever those SeanCody boys are called these days. Or Jake Gyllenhaal will finally respond to the fan letter I wrote him ten years ago and agree that we’re meant to be together. So no, you don’t know that at all.”
“I kind of do. Whether you wanted to admit it or not, you’ve pretty much always wanted Darren.”
I almost smashed my fist down on the phone. “That’s not even remotely true!”
“Sure it isn’t. I don’t know what happened between you two to make you pretend to hate him all this time, but you’ve obviously moved past that. Which is a good thing for everyone involved. Trust me. If I had to hear either one of you bitch about the other again, I was going to kick one of you in the balls.”
“So specific,” I said, rather proud of him. “I like the cut of your cloth, kid.”
“Why did you pretend to hate him? For a while there, years ago, I thought maybe you had a crush on him.”
And that was the real problem. I’d had a crush on him. And after that, I didn’t really have to pretend to hate him. I genuinely despised the very ground Darren Mayne walked on. It was a combination of pettiness and me protecting myself, sure. But those feelings were very, very real.
But it wasn’t like I felt that anymore, right? I mean, I couldn’t really remember when I’d switched from hating him to begrudgingly accepting his existence. It’d happened without me noticing. Granted, he was on my shit list right now for this whole girlfriend debacle, but like any role I’d played before, I was going to commit to it completely and fully. I was going to be the best girlfriend that ever existed.
“I just didn’t like him,” I settled on. “No real reason. He just rubbed me the wrong way. It’s one of those things. You know how it goes.”
“What changed?”
“I guess I saw him differently than he was before.”
“That’s kind of romantic, if you think about it.”
“And that’s why I don’t think about it.”
“Shut up, I know you love it.”
“You’re a liar and a fat mouth.”
“Besides, you wouldn’t want him to be by himself again, would you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Last year. Thanksgiving. His mom was out of town with friends and Vince was over with us at Mom and Dad’s.”
And that didn’t sit right with me. “Why didn’t anyone invite him?”
“You didn’t like him.”
And that… well. That was pretty much true. And I felt like the world’s most gaping asshole. “Things change” was all I could think to say.
“So, it’s fine that he’s coming?”
“Yeah.”
“All right. If you’re going to be having your afternoon delight, I’ll take Corey out with me, then.”
I gave Paul a kiss kiss through the phone, so he must have known I was more Helena than Sandy. He didn’t question it, but then he never really did. For all he knew, Darren had a Helena kink and we were getting ready to spend an afternoon exploring said kink completely and fully. (And as soon as that thought entered my head, it took a long while for it to leave. Eventually, though, I was able to push it away. It’s painful to try and get an erection when your dick is taped back.)