“Sandy’s cat is dying?” Vince asked. “That’s terrible.”
“Yes,” Paul said. “His cat is dying of lies.”
“How dare you!” I shrieked at him.
“I don’t get it,” Vince said. “Is that some kind of cat disease? I had a cat when I was a kid. Mom said it ran away, but I think it got eaten by coyotes.”
“Why do you think that?” Paul asked.
“Because I found its tail near a cactus behind the house.”
“God, I love you,” Paul said. “And that was a sad story.”
“Eh,” Vince said. “I got a car out of it, so I was all right.”
“First-world problems are my favorite kind,” Corey said.
“Sandy,” Paul said. “Are you going to tell me or do I have to guess?”
I wanted to tell him to guess just to see what he came up with, but my guilt was almost crippling. “I had a dream where I was blowing Vince and then he made out with Darren and they both sucked on your nipples and Nana led a parade with Captain Jack Sparrow. Or something.”
Dead silence.
Corey sighed. “It really is my own fault that I surround myself with these kinds of people. There’s no escape for me.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “What kinds of people would that be?”
“The best kind,” he said.
“You’re welcome,” I said. “I really do feel better after getting that off my chest.”
“You had a what about what?” Paul screeched.
“I wouldn’t make out with Darren,” Vince said. “I’m in a one hundred percent committed relationship with Paul.”
“Aw,” Paul said. “That’s so—wait a minute. That’s the only reason?”
“Well, yeah, I guess,” Vince said. “I mean, he’s attractive, right?”
“You’ll get there in a second,” Paul said.
“Get where? It’s not as if I’m going to do—oh. Wait. He’s my brother.”
“There it is,” Corey said.
“Oh no,” Paul said. “Sandy. Sandy.”
“What?”
“What if I have a brothers kink now? What if your dream was prescient and they both latch themselves onto my nipples?” Of course he would go there. Because I’d already had the same thought. It was comforting to know Paul and I were the same. Well. Sort of comforting.
“Yeah,” Vince said. “Doubt that’s going to happen.”
“Because you’d fight him for the right to my nipples?” Paul asked.
“Sure,” Vince said. “I’d fight anyone for your nipples. And also because Darren wants to bone Sandy and not you.”
“Oh,” Paul said. “That’s right.” I could hear the goddamned smirk in his voice.